2 Essays for Essa

The Teaser: From Sorria, with Love

I've already started whittling the characters out, on the sly, yeah.
The buffoon Pavlik, for example. He's so bouncy, the darling of the whole county. His nickname is "Chpoki-chpok". He'll then write a rap, "Help Pavlik collect a million with your pennies in his mug!" and start giving tours of the Ring's monasteries, keeping that mug in his outstretched hand for donations. But really, it's all about the clown, who’s merely the springboard to fuse up the show, because Pavlik Poluvolya isn't the leading character at all. It's just that when he gets drunk, he dreams of a career as a False Usurper. Because Usurper 1st has landed on the throne before him, and seated his behind there conveniently.

Sorria's political system is a semi-hereditary mandarinate. The country's population believes the current Father Mandarin is kind, but the courtier papillote-curlers he wears while pondering his thoughts prevent him from displaying this kindness.

There will also be a hero. He'll be healthy, but dumb, like all musclemen. Knight Krasavin. As soon as his shoulder begins to itch, he’ll raise an army, recruiting grapefruits from the perimeters, as well as marginalized vagabonds discontent with the infringement of their vagrancy rights.
To the drums of the march in The Nutcracker and the aria from the opera "Chow, chow, Sanya!", the host moves toward the capital city, Ponaekhuya—popularly known as "Dollar-Headed Ponaekhuya".

Krasavin has Plan G in mind (like every muscleman, he has a plan for every letter so that no one will guess what suit he will play out); he intends to clean out those damn papillote-curlers. However, near Ravenyzh city, he'll receive a dispatch that the usurper's cockroaches have captured his beautiful wife. He'll call it quits and turn the host around. Acting like a gentleman, all right. And he'll voluntarily go to the scaffold in the sky to make the whole fantasy more vivid. A flying dragon tore Krasavin apart, but then…

So, we do have plans. We seven-month-olds have tons of plots and more, you know.

Nietzsche and Palahniuk under one book cover? Why not—taking for a precedent the Old and New Testaments crammed into one Bible. Nietzsche revealed many bitter truths here, but he also consoled us with an elegiac, incidental thought: individually, each of us imagines themselves a Caesar, a Napoleon, or a Ramses… but together, we are just a meek, easily controlled herd. Which helps us digest Chuck’s… whatchamacallit…  baa?
 
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Content: words—79,524; pages—302
Essay No. 1
Introduction
1. A personal opinion on another profession
2. The Origin and Purpose of a Writer
3. Comparison of a writer by vocation and a civil servant of a similar appellation
4. The Life of a Writer
5. A pinch of physical philosophy + bringing the legend of secondary nature to public trial
6. What they don't teach you in school
7. Professional minimum literary criticism
8. Algebraic Primer
9. Anti-secondary tricks
10. How can a genius survive?
11. Another secret revealed
12. Choosing a Target
13. Resisting the Temptation of Ornithology
14. The Story of a Title
15. What Chuck filled the primer with
16. What I was missing
17. Creative Plans
The Teaser: From Sorria, with Love
Essay No. 2
The Historical Background (Instead of a Preface)
Introduction
Section 1 (1 - 23): 'On the follies (in the original ‘Prejudices’) of philosophers'
Section 2 (24–43): 'The Free Minds'
Section 3 (45-63): 'The Essence of Religiosity'
Section 4 (63-185): 'Aphorisms and Interludes'
Section 5 (186–203): 'On the Natural History of Morals'
Section 6 (204-213): 'We, the Scientists'
Section 7 (214–239): 'Our Virtues'
Section 8 (240 - 256): 'Peoples and Fatherlands'
Section 9 (257 — 296): "What's aristocratic?"
Bibliography