Now, Look Here! - Part Three - Feuilletons - All

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====>*_NOW, LOOK HERE!_*
===>*_(Publicistics -- Part 3)_*
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-->[ There is no idea about the cover, because in this book are gathered great variety of different journalistic materials, it is not a work of fiction, and such books are usually not illustrated. ]
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==>*_Copyright  Chris MYRSKI,  2001 – 2017_*
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===>*_CONTENTS (of the whole book/*)_*
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-->[ * Here the whole book is divided in 4 Books or parts and has 9 chapters or E-books, where the papers are 69. ]
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-->In the first Part:
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-->Foreword
-->°°°[ Introduction (2001) ]
-->I. For Journals
-->°°°[ These are more serious materials, yet the division is not strict. ]
-->°°°Essay on the common sense
-->°°°°°°[ This is mine first publicistic material in the spirit of perestroika which is left here with retrospective purpose. (1989) ]
-->°°°About the turn to the left
-->°°°°°°[ This paper explains popularly the idea of the swinging of pendulum applied in the sphere of political orientation of a given country. (1995 ?) ]
-->°°°How much has to win a company in order to have /_no_/ gain?
-->°°°°°°[ This paper proves the murderous impact of high inflation (in its time) over Bulgarian small companies. (1996) ]
-->°°°Our people again hoarded goods by higher prices
-->°°°°°°[ The paper contains judgements about the market on the example of Bulgaria from the end of last century. (1996) ]
-->°°°Too good is not good!
-->°°°°°°[ The paper looks at the drawbacks of our botched (as everything by us) introduction of Money Board in the very end of last century; many of them were settled with the time, but nevertheless it is still actual. (1997) ]
-->°°°Are we free, or on the contrary?
-->°°°°°°[ This material is dedicated to the enslavement of Bulgarian people /_with the coming of democracy_/, or more precisely: is it so, why, and is there a way out of the situation (1997) ]
-->°°°Political gratitude
-->°°°°°°[ This is sharp criticism of Bulgarian UDF, Union of Democratic Forces, as chief political cause for the botched transition to democracy. (1998) ]
-->°°°Neo-Malthusianism, or rational judgment
-->°°°°°°[ This paper throws new light on neo-Malthusianism, and looks more close on the question with overpopulation and how to fight with it. (1998) ]
-->°°°Myths about democracy
-->°°°°°°[ This paper lays bare a /_dozen_/ of widely used myths about democracy and, with this, is useful practically for everybody, but some things duplicate other materials of the author. (1998) ]
-->°°°About the ownership and its future
-->°°°°°°[ This paper take unprejudiced, although from left-wing positions, view on the question with property used for exploitation of labour of the others, as well also the necessary measures which have to be taken in order to reach in the future some /_reasonable_/ solution of this main economical problem of the society. (2001) ]
-->°°°Just /_in_/justice
-->°°°°°°[ This material discusses many drawbacks of the system of justice, together with two concrete scientifically motivated (according to the author) propositions: 1) about /_unification of assessment of damages and guilt_/, and 2) one entirely new idea for /_personal modification of punishments_/. The goal is to have objective, simplified and rightful justice. The material is intended first of all for the thoughtful masses, because the jurists alone will not want to cut the branch on which they are sitting. (2001) ]
-->°°°In ovo e veritas
-->°°°°°°[ The paper evolves one original idea about using of the … /_egg_/ as universal money unit! There are given concrete tables for Bulgaria for several years, as well also many comments about out economical paradoxes. The idea is quite original to make the material interesting for everybody. (2001 /2008) ]
-->°°°Oh, 'manci, 'manci –pation!
-->°°°°°°[ The paper discusses a variety of drawbacks of unnecessary movement for emancipation of the women, pointing by this at a big number of /_unwished_/ by the women consequences of this current foolishness of the half of humanity. (2002) ]
-->°°°What we want to tell the world?
-->°°°°°°[ This is quite critical paper, which takes in focus Bulgarian symbols, the spirit of the Bulgarian, and a heap of not rightly understood ideas from our newest history. It is written from the standpoint of a thoughtful person, and because the behaviour of the nations as whole is wide away from the reasonable, then this material may look to some readers as pretty daring and insolent, but many of the judgements exceed the national borders and are applicable also to other nations. (2003) ]
-->°°°In Bulgaria everything is quiet
-->°°°°°°[ This paper is of the /_new_/ ones and observes the political situation in Bulgaria in the end of 2012, which year was characterized with long-lasting lethargy. It is analyzed the stabilization in political life, the centrists parties, the left-wing ones, the leading then right-wing party, and what we have to do (but we don't do it) in order to better the things. (2012) ]
-->°°°Political parties in Bulgaria
-->°°°°°°[ This is my analysis of political parties in Bulgaria in the year 2012. ]
-->°°°About the degradation of morality
-->°°°°°°[ This paper discusses, yet from general or philosophical point of view, the quite painful for more older people question about the degradation of morality, is it so, really, why it has happened so, to what this leads, and what can be expected in the future. (2012) ]
-->°°°Is it possible moderate communism in Bulgaria?
-->°°°°°°[ Here is explained my viewpoint at the moderate communism, backed up by some rough calculations for Bulgaria. In the beginning is talked about what is this, then what kind of money are necessary for the purpose, and at the end is how this can be realized. (2012) ]
-->°°°Essay on the common sense -- II
-->°°°°°°[ This becomes my last publisictic material in this section, which makes complete revision of my first perestroika-stile material, only that this time it goes about the democratic society. The necessity of this material has ripened because the democracy, as a matter of fact, is based on the lack of common sense by the people (with what I do /_not_/ stand that it is badly based, yet it is good to remind also the true situation). (2015) ]
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-->In the second Part:
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-->II. For Newspapers
-->°°°[ These are as if more palatable for the common readers materials, which /_can_/ be met -- yet usually are not -- in newspapers. ]
-->°°°The truth about Bulgaria
-->°°°°°°[ This piece declares quite succinct the truth about Bulgaria, citing five arguments in support of the thesis. (1994) ]
-->°°°About the market and the Bulgarian
-->°°°°°°[ Here are explained popularly several important peculiarities of the free market, which, as it turns, are not quite clear to the Bulgarians (at least at the dawn of market economy, but nowadays, too). (1994 /1998) ]
-->°°°Five years of devastation
-->°°°°°°[ The material resumes the mournful result of first five years on the way to democracy in Bulgaria, related only with destroying of the old but without creating of whatever new. (1994) ]
-->°°°Do you want to lose your 13th pension?
-->°°°°°°[ This material illustrates some simple methods for /_dividing of monetary investments_/ in several banks with the purpose for receiving  of higher interests in conditions of high inflation; it is true that the prices are now pretty old and originate from Bulgaria, yet it is possible to get some orientation if one wishes, because the ideas remain just the same. (1995 ?) ]
-->°°°Time to draw conclusions
-->°°°°°°[ Here is treated the question of the importance of having a center in the political life in Bulgaria and about its lack by us, in 1996, as well also nowadays. (1996 ?) ]
-->°°°About the elections and the demos
-->°°°°°°[ This material is dedicated to the unreasonability of democratic choice, is it so, and how to cope with it. In other words, could there exist "reasonability in the unreasonability", and in what this is expressed? (1996) ]
-->°°°Requiem for one coalition
-->°°°°°°[ This is requiem for the notorious Bulgarian Union of Democratic Forces, UDF, which now more then a dozen of years exists only in order to remind the Bulgarians about our hasty, incompetent, and botched transition to democracy, thanks to which we are standing more than 20 years now in the tail, regarding the living standard, from all former socialist countries. It is pretty old, but if the things are observed from a reasonable standpoint, how I think that approach the matters as a rule, the things don't grow old. (1996 ?) ]
-->°°°Something more about democracy
-->°°°°°°[ Here it goes about the inefficiency of democracy, when it came to power, about the dictatorial moments in it, about movement to the right or the left, and other questions. These are still old things, but under similar circumstances they will again turn actual. (1996) ]
-->°°°What we have messed with the Currency Board
-->°°°°°°[ The object of discussion here is clear. The material is again old and many things have now settled themselves, but this does not mean that I was not right in whatever in those times, and generally. (1998) ]
-->°°°Convergence, what is this?
-->°°°°°°[ This material is dedicated to much acclaimed in its time theory about convergence of capitalism with the communism, which, in principle, turned to be right, yet with some peculiar moments, and my view, as usually, is new and untraditional (i.e. it does not fully correspond to either one of the former extremities). (1998) ]
-->°°°Why the communism has fallen down?
-->°°°°°°[ Here we approach the falling of socialism from an economic point of view, and more precisely in the sense of tying of the members of society in monetary aspect, via savings and loans. (1998) ]
-->°°°And where are we?
-->°°°°°°[ Here is given one comparison from the year 1998 about the economic and other situation in Bulgaria (according data from foreign journals, yet in my parsing), with other ex-communist countries, that is up to date even nowadays, when we are the poorest of all in the United Europe. (1998) ]
-->°°°Predictions for the year 1999
-->°°°°°°[ This paper is a pre-New Year prognosis of the economic and political situation in Bulgaria on the eve of the last century. Like the majority of my things it is actual in broad lines to this day. (1998) ]
-->°°°Can the Bulgarian pay 50 % taxes?
-->°°°°°°[ This material takes in focus the question with the percentage of taxes in Bulgaria, which, although as usually around the world, but is not at all liked by us; the money have now become older, but the situation is the same, especially in connection with our poverty. (1999) ]
-->°°°Reflections on the eve of the "holiday"
-->°°°°°°[ This material is dedicated to the "traditional" for us day of homosexuals (2nd of Feb) and discusses questions related with them. (1999) ]
-->°°°About democracy and melioration
-->°°°°°°[ This material looks at some of the drawbacks of democracy based on the parallel with the treatment of soil, where will it be /_meglio_/ ('meljo', or /_migliore_/) in Italian, i.e.better, depends on the very nation. (1999) ]
-->°°°About democratic phenomenon
-->°°°°°°[ This is continuation of the previous material about the democracy, about the related with it delusions, and how we are to look at it. (1999) ]
-->°°°A step forward and two back
-->°°°°°°[ This paper discusses the introduction of Money Board in Bulgaria in its time and it is aged with more than a dozen of years; nonetheless the things stated there are on the whole actual. (1999) ]
-->°°°Again sharp turn
-->°°°°°°[ The material dwells on the coming to power more than a dozen of years ago of King's party in Bulgaria, though it has long since left the stage. (2001 ) ]
-->°°°Oh God, what we eat!
-->°°°°°°[ Here, as one can well guess, it goes about the unnatural food and how to fight with this. This now is a new material. (2012) ]
-->°°°Why the cocks crow early morning?
-->°°°°°°[ This material proposes some philosophical, etymological, and of other kind, /_un_/professional observations over the birds. (2012 ) ]
-->°°°Does global warming exist?
-->°°°°°°[ When I pose in this way the question, then to all appearance I doubt in this. My view, which I will express in this material, is in this, that there is not so much global warming, as is /_global stirring_/ of the weather. We shall see is it so, in what this is expressed, and what can be done in order to eliminate it, if we want this. (2012) ]
-->°°°The fatal 2013 year in Bulgaria
-->°°°°°°[ This material discusses political and economic situation in Bulgaria in the beginning of fatal 13th year. (2013) ]
-->°°°Why we vote, when we ... don't vote?
-->°°°°°°[ This paper is about this, who took part in the elections in Bulgaria in 2013 godu, who whom from the politicians likes or hates, and, generally, about this how the things turned out there. (2013) ]
-->°°°About the fascism from common sense positions
-->°°°°°°[ This is untraditional look at the contemporary fascism in Bulgaria, and everywhere, from the viewpoint of the reason, as well also about this how to oppose it. (2013) ]
-->°°°About the Social Ministry in Bulgaria
-->°°°°°°[ Here is discussed the question about necessity and the main functions of eventual Social Ministry in Bulgaria (as the poorest country in European Community) and is shown that the expressed here ideas can be used in whatever country. (2013) ]
-->°°°How to improve democratic protests?
-->°°°°°°[ This material takes in focus the question with our inability to correctly conduct democratic protests, so that the population was able to protest, and this helped the governing; there are proposed, naturally, also ways for solving of this very important question, that are valid for all countries. (2014) ]
-->°°°Read Chris Myrski (in the sense of political reviews)
-->°°°°°°[ This paper is dedicated to the political situation in Bulgaria in 2014 and the conducted then elections. There are made interesting and original conclusions, and in the end are given some expert rules for prognosticating of the political situation in Bulgaria, yet not only. (2014) ]
-->°°°Thoughts about Ukraine
-->°°°°°°[ This material is dedicated to the long-lasting confrontation of Ukraine and Russia, why this is bad, and what the Ukrainians have first of all to do. The approach is not typical, these are thoughts, based on the understanding of the situation by the author, yet is used also his sufficient experience in similar in many, chiefly economic, aspects in Bulgaria. (2014) ]
-->°°°Miscellaneous in the year 2016
-->°°°°°°[ Well, here are various things, as it is said, here it goes about the banks' interest rates and the world economic crisis, about cares for the health, also about the bad capitalism and how it can be bettered, especially in poor countries like Bulgaria, this is a new proposition (about communal taxes), and in the end are pictured some funny moments related with bus tickets used as … money equivalent, this in comic terms. (2016) ]
-->°°°Hundred years later (To The Centenary Of October Revolution)
-->°°°°°°[ This is my next, and this time last (at least here) apologetic of communism in my traditional, what means entirely /_un_/traditional style of reasonable and unprejudiced observation. The plan of narration is generally the following: about the Russian Revolution, about Lenin, about Stalin, about the communism, about its future, and some comic moments in the end about the spirit of communism. (2017) ]
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-->*_In this Part_*:
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-->III. Feuilletons
-->°°°[ Here are things written as feuilletons, although sometimes they are not really funny. ]
-->°°°About the sunflower seeds and the people
-->°°°°°°[ This feuilleton deals with the influence of Bulgarian transition to democracy on the consummation of sunflower seeds by the population. (1992 /1995) ]
-->°°°The extremal solution
-->°°°°°°[ In this feuilleton is applied mathematical approach for proving of maximal … stupidity of one concrete political decision in the past (about setting of limits for the price of some product in the conditions of free market). (1994 ?) ]
-->°°°For reforming of Bulgarian language
-->°°°°°°[ This joke is dedicated to the reforming of Bulgarian language in a similar with the English manner, yet is not translated due to the specifics of the text, here is only retold the idea. (1994 /1997) ]
-->°°°To contemporary Bulgarian language
-->°°°°°°[ This feuilleton is similar with the previous, but it treats the massive Americanization of Bulgarian language; here is given also only the idea. (1994 /1997) ]
-->°°°New laws -- old policy
-->°°°°°°[ This feuilleton discusses one variant for social protection of bank deposits, i.e. forced closing of some banks and financial firms during the ruling of communists in the beginning of our democracy. (1996) ]
-->°°°Heads up, Bulgarians!
-->°°°°°°[ This funny piece is dedicated to our next (in 1998) realization of incredible poverty of Bulgarian people, which had begun, obviously, with the coming of democracy in Bulgaria. ]
-->°°°Are you ready for the elections?
-->°°°°°°[ This feuilleton explains some algorithms of democratic (i.e. unreasonable) choice and is permanently actual also today. (1999) ]
-->°°°/_Nomen est numen_/! (to name is to define)
-->°°°°°°[ The feuilleton is dedicated to the exclusive significance of the /_name_/ for the success of prominent political figures; jokes aside, but this really is, and not of small, importance. (2000) ]
-->°°°How to fill the treasury
-->°°°°°°[ How the title shows the feuilleton is written in order to help the financial Ministers and observes various kinds of taxes. It is also always up to day. (2000) ]
-->°°°About the usefulness of cockroaches (scientific feuilleton)
-->°°°°°°[ This feuilleton is obviously dedicated to the cockroaches; the way of narration is quite popular and of use for everybody (2012) ]
-->°°°Better not to live to pension age!
-->°°°°°°[ This last feuilleton explains some curious moments with Bulgarian pensions and is based on personal experience of the author. (2016) ]
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-->In the fourth Part:
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-->IV. Others
-->°°°[ Here are other things which do not belong to any of the previous three sections. ]
-->°°°Actual political dictionary
-->°°°°°°[ What is said. (1993 ?) ]
-->°°°An open question
-->°°°°°°[ This is a standard test for representatives of variety of political forces intended to allow to our population to find themselves better in the views of those persons in complicated contemporary situation. (1994 ?) ]
-->°°°About the trees and the people (forest allegory)
-->°°°°°°[ This miniature is dedicated to the parallel between the reaction of a whole nation by the transition to democracy and the reaction of the wood on bending. (1994 ?) ]
-->°°°Dozen questions for deliberation
-->°°°°°°[ These are questions about the democracy, the capitalism, our transition, and other still important questions. (1996 ?) ]
-->°°°Could one cope with it?!
-->°°°°°°[ Here are discussed the absurd, yet real, social security payments in Bulgaria in that time. (2000) ]
-->°°°Idea about new calendar
-->°°°°°°[ What is said (and this may appear in other place). (2012) ]
-->°°°Reflections about the numbers (popular etymology and more)
-->°°°°°°[ This is a popular booklet (which may be published also on other place) about the names of all digits and more important numbers in /_different_/ languages, about their graphical images, and about various possible /_ideas_/ hidden behind their names. The questions are pretty complicated and lost in the gone centuries, it might be that they are somewhere partially explained, but the author has come to them /_alone_/. These are things interesting for everybody, they, in principle, are not very complicated, but as far as they require some mathematical knowledge and profound etymological researches, then they are practically known to nobody (well, some, say, 2-3 % guess about /_something_/, yet surely not about all moments). So that this is serious scientific paper, only popularly written. (2012) ]
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====>*_FEUILLETONS_*
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===>*_ABOUT THE SUNFLOWER SEEDS AND THE PEOPLE_*
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-->So I am speaking about the sunflower seeds, about the same seeds out of which the sunflower oil is made, that has again disappeared somewhere, as well also has risen "a little" in prices. But how is it not to disappear when it was eaten already in form of seeds, so to say! It isn't that we have not peeled seeds in totalitarian times, we have peeled them, surely, but not as totally as now. One goes to the stadium to watch football -- so this isn't opera hall for to sit there peaceful and quietly -- and it comes time for the seeds: one gobbles and spits, spit ant stuffs again, and from time to time one can also leave a curse for diversity. Or then to light a cigarette, or also candies, pistachios, such things. We were democratic in our behaviour in those times and each one of us made rubbish in one's own way.
-->But now how the things stay, ah? You stand in a queue -- you peel seeds, you travel in the tram -- you peel seeds, you make money on the job -- you gobble seeds again! Earlier only the "swarthy Bulgarian women" sold them but now only those who have work do not sell something, yet such people become more and more less.
-->I am travelling one of these days in a tram and what I see -- each third person peels seeds. One just spit at once, another -- through the window, and the "more cultured" gather the husks in their hand and later throw them under the seat. In one word -- democracy! But to me this smells a bit of totalitarianism, because if someone does not chew something then the others look at him with suspicion -- id est, is he really so poor that has no money even for some seeds, and otherwise, look -- has put on jeans, as if is going to a concert.
-->I have heard some time ago to say that Europe ends where people begin to drink /_boza_/. It might be so, but it is long time when they have ceased to make good /_boza_/, for there are not many those who can afford to buy it, but with the seeds it is surely so. It as if is not so bad -- why not to peel seeds "in the basement of European House"? -- but it turns out that their basements, too, were not like ours. So that, who knows, what if they will not allow us to enter even the basement?
-->Unless the European Community, or then some fund or bank, for example, does not decide to send us some humanitarian aid, but such that it was accessible to socially weak, and could have been put in the mouth, and in addition could remove the emotional stress. Though it will not be easy this thing. Just nothing comes to my head, except what one girl friend has confided once to me, that is doesn't matter whether you will swallow it or spit it -- the major thing is that it gives you pleasure -- but this, maybe, was about something else.
-->So that the democracy is a difficult thing and each /_demos_/ gets it in its own way. Now, for the Bulgarian, the sunflower seeds are the major thing. And when they are such then I think, why not to build one new party, "Party of Human Seedeaters (United)", and to raise the slogan: "/_The semen above all!_/" -- this is both uniting and reconciling, as well also apolitical?
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-->1992, 1995
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-->*_P.S._* Some 20 years later it turns out that is necessary to add here one remark for the younger people, who may think that the things here are exaggerated and we eat now, and have eaten then, the same amount of sunflower seeds. Yet this is not so, because we don't eat now more seeds than in the old totalitarian years, while in those turbulent "democratic" years we have "gulped" them with wild passion, so that we have really eaten some decent part of sunflower oil in form of seeds. And if one asks, why was this so, then the answer is elementary: because of hunger for proteins. Although hardly one out of hundred persons was aware then what was the real cause for this phenomenon.
-->July 2013
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===>*_THE EXTREMAL SOLUTION_*
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-->Because for every Bulgarian has become obvious, that thanks to the decision of Mr. Berov to set the price of sunflower oil to approximately 40 lv, in order to avoid that it was sold by 60 lv, it is now nowhere to be found even for 80 lv, and while the crisis is solved (via importation or in other way) its price, without whatever compensation for the citizens, will reach, most probably, 100 lv (due to the fact that this oil is product of relatively long endurance and every Bulgarian, who succeeds, can quietly hoard for an year or two ahead), it is clear that it is not necessary to discuss the "competency" of the decision. Here we will try to prove something stronger, namely, that *_every other decision would have been better_*, in the sense that it would have allowed to an averagely taken Bulgarian to buy enough sunflower oil for personal consumption on prices lower that the current 80 lv for a liter. In mathematical language this means that the decision in question has /_extremal character_/.
-->Firstly let us convince ourselves that we have here *_local maximum of silliness_* (resp. minimum of reasonability) for the decision. We use the well known from the secondary school course method, moving a little in both directions of the price of 40 lv, in order to see that this will lead to better decision. And really, if the price was, say, 50 lv, what is near to the normal market price, this could have forced some new and striving merchants to sell this oil even with a slight loss, in order to attract buyers, and to write the expenses, so to say, for advertising. On the other hand, if Mr. Berov has said that the price of this oil must be 30 lv a liter (and it /_will be sold_/ for as much), then every Bulgarian, from the pre-school age and above, would have simply laughed at this and would have given no credit to such manipulation, and in this case this decision would have not been accepted, so that there is no need to observe it (this is equivalent to restriction from below of the price, so that the local extremum will be reached at the lower border of reasonability of 40 lv). So that, if the intervention is only in regard of the price, then 40 levs give *_the silliest decision_*.
-->Now let us see whether there is not /_another_/ way of influence. Here we can also move, either in direction of strengthening of market mechanisms, even to such extent that not at all to intervene in them, or to their lessening. In the case of increasing of market mechanisms this means weakening of the control on prices of this oil, as foodstuff of basic necessity, and it is well known that when there are no bans there is also no interest in trespassing them, i.e. when the speculation with it will not be unlawful, then it will become uninteresting and low profitable (in near future) and this variant will reduce to the next. And this next variant in this direction is exactly total non-interference by the Government, what, by prices on the international market of 600 US$ for a ton, and prices on the internal market in the majority of Western countries of about one US dollar a liter, as also by price of the dollar in Bulgaria in this period of time of 52–55 lv, would have led to some initial jumping of the price of oil to about 60 lv and subsequent setting on 50-55 lv, a thing which already has begun to happen, if there was not this decision of Mr. Berov.
-->The last variant of weakening of market mechanisms means some way of centralized control of the amount of bought sunflower oil by everyone, i.e. a variant of introducing of a /_system with coupons_/, what would have been worse than the non-intervention, but, despite of this, if it was conducted properly, would have led to better decision than the current one (yet this, too, has not been done). With this we consider proved, assuming /_continuity_/ of the decisions /_in a closed interval_/ (here, of silliness), that the decision of Mr. Berov is the most silly one from all possible.
-->Still, the situation is not so despairingly bad for Mr. Berov, for the reason that there exists also the /_principle ... of limitlessness of human silliness_/ (or stupidity), which states that *_there are no limits for the human stupidity_* (on the contrary with the intellect)! Hence, for each stupid thing can be found another stupid thing that is a little bigger then our (similarly to the natural numbers, which are unlimited). If we accept that this principle is correct then the decision in question is not extremal, because there is no maximum for the stupidity (or the interval is not limited), what is a significant consolation against his slanderers.
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-->1994 ?
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===>*_FOR REFORMING OF BULGARIAN LANGUAGE_*
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-->*_Abstract_*: Here, maybe to the possible disappointment of foreign readers, we have to do with only some retelling of the feuilleton, because the cuisine of Bulgarian language is quite specific for the readers in English, and we would have been forced to explain many things with footnotes, to say nothing about the mutilation of English language. The idea in broad lines is the following: in the beginning, taking the English as model, we have to move to one grammatical gender only, which for us (as well also for other Slavonic languages) is more suitable to be the feminine one, because practically for all words we are able to build feminine nouns (and in this process are given many examples of various words, also in German language, which examples are, in one or another aspect, funny -- say, you have only one bottom, but we have masculine, as well neutral, and the Russians have feminine one); from this moment onwards the narration continues in a broken "new" language, where all nouns are of feminine gender.
-->The next point is reduced to moving of all definite articles before the word (which by us, as also by almost all languages, yet with the exception of the Russian one, exist, but the peculiar moment is that in Bulgarian they stay /_at the end_/ of the word and are concatenated with them -- say, "the table" will be something like table/_la_/). On the third place comes simplification of all forms of verbs to just two forms, for singular and plural (where we, naturally have six forms), and, sure thing, the further narration continues in this spirit. In the end this universal feminine gender is extended not only to inanimate objects but to all (say, the man becomes also feminine -- what is not so strange after all, because the word "/_papa_/" has feminine ending but is masculine). The feuilleton ends with the slogan (in some Latinized English) "/_La Bulgariana languaga -- la worda etalona for la twenta firsta centura_/".
-->In principle it is /_possible_/ to translate this material in English, but I have no time for such foolishness; I rather think for mutilating of the English in some way, introducing genders, more verb forms, etc., and calling this English /_Myrskanto_/, if I will live long enough to do this scientific joke (or, maybe, not exactly joke but tedious "improvement" of the language).
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-->1994, 1997
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===>*_TO CONTEMPORARY BULGARIAN LANGUAGE_*
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-->*_Abstract_*: This proposition can be observed as alternative to the previous. Here, too, we will limit ourselves with retelling only, because the things are significantly tied to Bulgarian language, and the narration is pretty detailed and tedious for translation. It goes about Americanization en masse of the language, that this is performed not sufficiently consecutive and that we must not only introduce here and there a pair of new words, but accept also a heap of new idioms and expressions, consecutiveness of the words, the intonation and punctuation, and this leads in the end to a humorously mutilated pseudo-Bulgarian language.
-->This topic is very actual and it concerns all world languages, and the natural (i.e. vulgar) acceptation of new words is far from being the right method, because are taken not some learned words, as it was before with the Latin and Greek, but mostly some insignificant jargon words.
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-->1994, 1997
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===>*_NEW LAWS -- OLD POLICY/*_*
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-->[ * The material sounds much in the spirit of UDF, but look at the P.S. in the end. ]
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-->Experienced people are the communists, one can not object to this! They knew quite well that if you want to take something from somebody he will resist, but when you give him -- most often he takes it. And if you decide to defend him, then even with not much brains you can take from him, as is said, his mother's milk. Well, it is so, if you begin to explain to a sheep, that you intend to milk her to make yourself cheese, she will not understand you, but if you graze her for a pair of weeks, then you'll be able to milk her, and shear her, and also take away some of her children now and then for a barbecue and she will still bleat happily. The same is true also for the cows. Yet for the people a pair of weeks is not enough, but 50 years -- unquestionably!
-->So that the protection is a good thing! Quite rarely someone will tell you that he does not want to be protected, but if this happens then it will be because of pride. And when so, if one has a little of our levs in some nice banks, then why not the "dear people" (id est the communists, for this is their common addressing of the masses) not to guaranty them to him, especially when this costs them nothing, because this, what they must give to the citizens, they will take from the companies (there is 50 % protection of their investments), but there is also nothing at all to guaranty, because one takes his money from one bank and runs to another (state owned), due to the fact that the inflation is tremendous, and the dollar has lost its senses to be bought by one. So that the thing is sure and, as is said: the wolf is satiated (and who is he, ah?), and the sheep are whole!
-->It remains only to accomplish the affair competently, like communists! It is clear that people seek protection when they are under some danger, so that it was necessary in the beginning to frighten them, right? ( And even earlier was the period of "lulling", in order that the people were able to put their levs and hard currency in the banks, not to hide them at their homes, but this was in the previous year. ) Then there was necessary that here and there "burst out fires". The "pyramids" have already "set the mat" of many persons "on fire", so that there sufficed quite small state intervention (of the party, or state, Bulgarian National Bank, BNB). There was, for example, one good firm, called "Financial Trading House FTA", which has already had for 3-4 years permit for currency transactions, took money (and levs, too) in deposits, sold Government bonds, and had a number of offices through the country. One morning, though, having just awaken, the Director of BNB decided to take back its licence (because there was needed "kindling for the fire", so to say) and after a pair of days he also did this. Not that BNB has only /_then_/ found out about this firm, but then become necessary to knock it over, the more so because it offered /_fixed_/ interest rate on the deposits (as it is in the "normal" countries), not floating and tied to the basic interest rate (BIR), determined by BNB (how it is in Bulgaria), so that this served as one of the reasons for taking back of its licence. And so, "fires burst out", somewhere some people "burned", others were frightened and already began, in the open or tacitly, to ask for protection.
-->The intervention from above, though, continued, because the banks hold the front. "Now, let us see how long can they hold it?", said to themselves the communist leaders and meanwhile began to nationalize, pardon me: to "defend the deposits of the citizens", in several banks. It was clear that there was little sense to begin with banks like "Capital Bank", for example, where from January (and at least till August) have not changed the bank interest rates and the bank was so insignificant that people did not even know that it existed -- such bank was not good for the /_competent_/ politicians and specialists. Another thing was the "Mineral Bank", for example, because it was wealthy, as also well known on the West, and the deposits there in hard currency were current, but with good interests (6-8% in an year) and they were added each three months. It is true that in the "normal" Western countries people don't have monthly deposits (more so weekly), or they do not use them much, while their term deposits are for one, two, and three /_years_/, and for shorter periods exist current deposits, but we are also not Europe, after all! Well, we have compromised ourselves a little before the West and have closed us even more, as is said, but this was one of the purposes of the task (the communism can't vegetate by open doors to the West -- it "catches cold" -- so that it was necessary to close the financial doors).
-->Another Bank -- "First Private Bank"! Even if it was the most poor of all banks it must have been closed because the mere name of it irritated the communist ear. But it was quite prosperous and well known abroad, and, in the first place, nobody supposed that the bank of "Ventsi", for whom have voted half of the voters of Sofia, can go bankrupt. Though, a bank more or a bank less, what of it (or "what here some person can mean?", as has said our poet Nikola Vaptsarov) -- when it is necessary for the party, there is nothing to be done!
-->But, if all this has ended for a pair of weeks, then one could have taken this for natural disaster and soon forgotten about. Because of this was necessary that the things lasted at least a pair of months, so that other banks (without participation of the state) were set under permanent danger of closing and did not pay the people more than 30,000 lv without prior notice (how it is according to the rules), and also more than 10,000 lv (i.e. 50 US$), and even with prior notice of a whole week also was not possible to get the money (some banks gave not even 1-2 thousand levs), because the BNB has "protected the savings" of the citizens. To say nothing about hard currency -- in principle was possible to take (other banks were not declared bankrupt), but in practice came nothing from such efforts. And if somebody wanted to change a hundred of dollars for levs, because of the high interest rate (in those times "only" 108 %), he would have hardly dared to do this, because he neither could have saved his levs, nor the dollar has calmed down.
-->For this reason they decided to close additional couple of banks. Recently -- another five or six, and those banks which BNB does not close they will alone go bankrupt, for the simple reason that the banks exist if there are people or companies to credit them! But the people now don't want to give credits to the banks (unless the bank is state owned). There can't be said that in Bulgaria don't exist private banks, but they just can't survive! Well, surely this is not communism but state-monopoly capitalism (according to the old communist terminology, yet it could have been called also financial socialism (for change), or in some other way, but this is not significant. The major thing is that the people wanted to be "protected" and put alone their head in the harness.
-->After this comes the next protection (especially under the current prices on basic food products) -- the system of coupons. The only problem is that by the contemporary copying techniques well-protected coupons would have costed quite much. ( Just imagine how more expensive will become coupons with pressed into them metal ribbons with inscription "protection of the citizens" on them, or: "Zhan" -- from Zhan Videnov --, small lion, "Zhan", small lion, and so on, but it is possible also to put crossed fibers, like a grid. )
-->The next step will be paying of the salaries in dollars, and maybe, to vote a law about the "/_minimal_/ minimal working salary", establishing that the minimal salary can't be less than one US dollar a day, what, after all, will be better than in the year 1900, for example (or maybe not?). The important thing is that the population was /_convinced_/, that it is well protected. The pensions will be corrected every month according to "scientifically based norms" for consumption of one pensioner, which, surely, will not be enough for covering of all communal expenses for one or two rooms (not just bedrooms) flats, to say nothing about food and, God forbid, medicaments.
-->Well, it is true that money in the banks have, in fact, the /_poor_/ citizens, not the wealthy! Not the socially weak but, still, poor ones, because they have had not enough money to buy something valuable -- if not "real" estate, as it is said in English, then at least a movable one. So with his 100,000 or 200,000 levs (i.e. 500 - 1,000 US$, resp.) one can't buy even well preserved second hand passenger car, because, if he could, he would have /_bought_/ himself one, instead of to keep his money in banks. To say nothing about a living apartment or half to one decare (0.05 - 0.1 hectares) land around the town. So that this "financial slap" for the Bulgarian people was even not according to the communists, i.e. to take from the wealthy and give to the poor ones, but exactly on the contrary!
-->But, after all, the communists are now socialists, they have centered themselves. Why not then to /_centralize_/ the finances? For example, now the "most state" bank, Bulbank", gives generally the highest interests for deposits in levs and good interests for hard currency. Similar is the situation also with "Biochim", OBB (United Bulgarian Bank), Post Bank, even with DSK (State Saving Bank). To say nothing about Government securities, which in the beginning of October give about 450% (!) per year, and the money enter directly into the state treasury, eliminating even the state owned banks. So that around the New Year about 90 % of the deposits of citizens (in levs and in hard currency) will be collected in the state banks and the operation will be finished with success and competently, where in Bulgaria will remain 4-5 state owned banks, 4-5 foreign banks (for assortment), and about ten more banks in process if liquidation. The main thing is that the people wanted to be milked, excuse me, protected!
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-->Oct 1996
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-->*_P.S._* This material needs some commentaries, because it is true, but also questionable, i.e. the facts given here are true and Zhan Videnov, really, has *_provoked bankrupts_* of the banks, but in order to preserve our currency, as far as this was possible, and this was the best method for stopping of inflation with our own means, and, as the people later have convinced themselves, nobody has lost his money in this banks and the periods were preserved and continued profitably (only that the invested in levs capitals were eaten by the inflation, but they would have been eaten by it /_in any case_/). Social protection of deposits exists also in some Western countries and the West takes this method of "centralized governing" of the banks for justified, and our UDF people did not object against the law, and it is still valid. But this does not mean that such law is not socialist, and, if we are consecutive, then it should not exist in a free capitalist market (because this is blocking of the bank /_before_/ the court case for insolvency, i.e. the state acts as instance /_above_/ the legislature).
-->All confusion in Bulgaria came again because of lack of coordination between the political powers, because, either was necessary to admit before the people that such rude totalitarian method was necessary (but then leave Zhan in peace and take measures for some /_our_/ national money Board), or then defend till the end the freedom of market (but then /_not_/ to introduce Money Board, which is obvious anti-market mechanism, but with the use of which the UDF simply washed their hands for similar rough measures later). At least was necessary to allow applying of the existing law also to similar to FTA financial houses, which have accepted deposits of the citizens, for the simply reason that for the clients they /_were_/ some kind of banks. But neither the blue, nor the red, have done something similar.
-->2001
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===>*_HEADS UP, BULGARIANS!_*
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-->I don't understand Bulgarian people in the recent times, I'm telling you. They are not happy when necessary, but always walk with drooping head. Now, the pensioners are again discontented that the ruling will increase their pensions only with some 4-5 thousands in month. But then these are thousands, people, /_bons_/, as we also say. Has earlier some of you thought that he will see hundreds of bons in one heap, the more so each month? Neither thought, nor dreamed, and now the most daring of our dreams became reality! This is democracy in action, not like the previous demagogy of the communists, that they have always cared about the people, but the highest pension of that time was less than now one patty costs! And the people, instead of to rejoice, have drooped their heads.
-->And they say: yeah, but when they take from you 60 bons for the central heating and also for the electricity and the water, then you money is already finished. Only that they forgot the most important thing in the world, forgot the /_freedom_/, which they have now in their disposition, but which they have not earlier! Because now, if you only want this, you can stop your central heating, switch it out, and earlier this was forbidden by the communists. Earlier they said to you that, when you live in a centrally heated home, you must pay your heating, too, like all the others, but now, with the coming of democracy, you have your own choice. Now you can choose everything: who is to govern you, and to have heating or not, and to eat cheese (or curds), and to buy yourself meat (or duck "lantern", i.e. a skeleton with grease), and many other things. It even these duck lanterns earlier were not sold at all but now they are free everywhere.
-->But you see that our people do not appreciate what they have, they are always discontent. The more freedoms you offer them the more discontent they become! Now, for example, you can every time pay for your medical treatment to whomever physician you want, to whom you think is the most capable, and in every hospital that you choose, whether in Bulgaria, whether even in France or in Switzerland, or where you like, while earlier you were forced to go only to those who the "Party and Government" have chosen for you. The same also with the education -- if only you have decided to give some education to your sons or daughters and you can at once do this, because the education by us is now free! But our people are again dissatisfied, because free, you see, they say, was not entirely free, it was for money, yet this is so because they don't value /_the most precious_/ thing in the world. And when it is the most precious then it must also cost more than everything else!
-->Or also the workers complain that their salaries will be raised with only about 10 percents, but they simply do not know the basic arithmetics, because this is 10 percents each month, and when we multiply them by all twelve months in the year, then we get already hundred and twenty percents! And if even this is not enough for them then let them compute the increase for, say, three years. And, besides, nobody hinders them to strike, if they want to. But well, it's of no use, they say, and don't think that the point isn't in the benefits but in the freedom! Let them go for a while to the streets, let them cry a bit, let them worm themselves, and return later cheerful and happy to their work. The strike is, in a way, a democratic /_happening_/, and this does not necessarily mean that the Government has to pay attention to it, because it has all sorts of worries. When the people have elected their rulers then they must like their Government, and when they like it then they have to listen to these persons, not like it was before, when we were commanded by various elderly persons, about whom nobody has asked us do we want to listen to them or not.
-->And also, if you are so much dissatisfied with something than you can always go to the President and he will listen to you very attentively and with vivid interest. Only that, because there were so many who wanted to speak to him, he received only those, who felt themselves so bad that were not able to come to see him. But what is to be done, he is not a sun to warm everybody. If the President can not worm you then you can always go to some church and worm yourself there, and earlier this was not allowed (or maybe some bandit may hit you on the head, if you have just taken your salary or pension, and you will worm yourself).
-->And what is so bad with our President -- shapely, young, talented, and with charming smile, not with some hooked nose, like it was by our /_Bai Tosho_/. A real man of the people, with common blue shirt and with working hands. And, first of all, having achieved all by himself, not lowered to us from above. Earlier, in order to take some post in the Political Bureau, for example, was necessary to crouch for ten years before all party members in order to be taken in the party, then to crouch another ten years before your party bosses in order to be appointed somewhere in the ruling of some enterprise, then another more ten years to stoop before the local bosses until you come to municipal level, after another ten -- to regional, and after ten more years to national level, and when you find yourself there then you will be already senile old man. And our contemporary President, if we put our hand on our heart, is young and handsome man!
-->Or, on the other hand, if you are so jealous of him then nobody hinders you also to become President, right? The method is simple and free-to-all. In the beginning you make yourself somewhere a photo to the waist, dressed in something old (some blue shirt left from your young years in the Komsomol, if you can find such, will do quite well), then you print it in 2-3 millions of copies, adding in the upper right corner our national banner, and in the upper left -- a pair of small lions, twisted like on a ring for wrestling) the more lions, the better), so that everyone could see it from afar, departing in the morning for work or returning in the evening from it. Ah, I have almost forgotten, it is necessary also to write "This is the President" or something of the kind, so that nobody could have thought that he is "an onion head", and this is all. When there pass, so, five-six months you will see that you will also be elected, because this is it, the real democracy, in action.
-->Also I heard the other day in the tram how a woman complains to another one that her children have become very naughty where earlier they were not such. But surely they will not be such, dear woman, would I have told her, because they are from the /_new_/, democratic generation, and the new, it is for this reason new, that it is not old! And what is this "earlier"? The communism was long ago rejected everywhere in the world so that we must simply scratch this time through, throw it out from our history, and compare with the 30es years of the century, for example, not with the time under our /_Bai Tosho_/. This is the right look at the time, not only to say ahh and ooh, how bad everything has now become! Because, have in the 30es existed television and video -- no, they haven't; were then such passenger cars like now -- no, they weren't; were then so many millionaires like now -- no, there weren't; were in that time "Coca Cola" in Bulgaria -- no; or "Kentucky Fried Chicken" -- again no; and other examples.
-->OK, say some of us, but people now have nothing to eat. Yes, but not exactly! Because, were earlier so many pasted on the streets ads about various loss of weight diets like now, or there were not, I ask them? And why should one nation want to lose weight, if not because it has eaten too much since the coming of democracy? Under the totalitarianism our people did not feel necessity to lose weight for the simple reason that they have eaten insufficiently, while now they give their eye teeth, as is said, only to be able to lose a bit of their weight. And how not to want to lose weight when our /_lukanka_/ (special flat dry sausage) has emerged earlier in shops only on the eve of May Day and Ninth of September (our day of freeing from fascism, which was then our national holiday), and now is so full with all kinds of meat specialties /_at any_/ time. Hence people buy them and it is full for this reason, because under the free market this, what is not demanded, is not sold. Think properly, gentlemen, not in the totalitarian way!
-->And sometimes I hear even more bizarre things on the streets. Some people say that there have emerged also new, democratic dissidents, but this is obvious demagogy! Because a dissident may exist when there is someone to sponsor him (or her), so to say, from abroad, for in his own country he is not respected. The earlier dissidents were supported by the Western democracies, and how it has become clear now, for their own good, because they have already /_sat_/ on positions of responsibility and have ceased to be dissidents any more, While the new dissidents, if there are such people, who can support them now? You think, maybe, that this is Russia, or Mongolia, or Cuba, or even China? Nobody supports them, I will tell you, and this means that they just don't exists!
-->But there are also people who are not satisfied with the freedom of pornography, prostitution, drug addiction, and so on, yet they are unsatisfied not with these things but with the freedom /_at all_/! Because it, either exists, or does not exist, and if it exists then it can't be to have freedom of speech, for example, and not to have freedom of, say, pornography. Who thinks that this is possible, then he still thinks in the old totalitarian way, but the new time, the new order, the new laws and democratic norms of behaviour require also new relations in the society. Who does not like this -- well, nobody blocks him the road to the other world! Because it is so, it can't be that the wolf was satiated and the lamb also remained whole, as all of us know.
-->And if we so much want to speak about the old time, then where is our "bright future", I ask you? We haven't seen it and will never see it, what means that the communists only deceived us, for to make us work for them! While now nobody forces us to work, if we want, we work, but if we do not want, then we don't work -- exactly this is the freedom, ladies and gentlemen! Freedom not only on words, but freedom in reality! Earlier we were exploited compulsory, while now nobody forces us: if we want, we work for the others, but if we want, then they work for us. Everything is a question of free choice and professional abilities. The more capable live better than the others, so that if you have still not succeeded, then either you have tried not enough hard, or you are not quite able. This is the situation, because everybody is alone "smith" of his fortune, as we say, and not only to wait to receive everything ready from the state.
-->And the last thing: earlier our people had just no purpose in life and they simply vegetated somehow, like puppets, which were pulled by strings by the loathsome communists, while now we have one very important goal, the most important goal at all -- the /_survival_/ of everyone of us, as well also of the whole country! And who or what has given us this goal? Well, the democratic reforms, of course, when under the totalitarianism it was not standing before us and now it stands! This is the /_most cheerful_/ consequence of democracy and we have to welcome it enthusiastically and meet with open arms! This is the greatest and worthiest goal in the world. And this is our bright ideal, a real ideal, because, to all appearances, we will not be able to come soon to it.
-->So that there are no reasons for worries and alarms. We are in an /_enviable_/ position and must be only grateful to those who have led us to it. Heads up, Bulgarians!
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-->Jan 1999
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===>*_ARE YOU READY FOR THE ELECTIONS?_*
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-->As can be seen, there again come elections, how you say in English, and we still don't know what this word means. Although it isn't that we have not heard one Latin word with a bit intimate use, namely ... erection! Well, will somebody say, but there is nothing in common between both words, and he will be /_wrong_/, because every logopedist will tell you that the sounds "r" and "l" are pretty similar and often interchangeable. And you know that the English (as well also the Americans), instead of to strain their tongue making it to reverberate for the "r", just draw it a bit deeper in the throat and pronounce something very near to that sound like in the word "girl", because it is easy in this way for them. So that these two words are like twins, in the sense that both mean some "/_heaving_/". For it is really so, because what are the elections, if not some elevation of eminent political figures on the high arena called Parliament? Or, putting it in simple words: /_The people make the election, and the politicians get the "erection_/"! That is how it is, because the politicians know well where is the "honey", and it is always good to be near to the barrel with it, or to the state pie.
-->Yet let we leave the chosen people in peace and think about what we can do for the "lifters" or electors, because the choice is not at all an easy thing. Some nations have even proverbs for such cases, where the Germans (as well also the Austrians) say: /_Wer die Wahl hat, hat die Qual_/, what in English means that "the choice is a torment". And this torment was known to the people already since Roman times, for the reason that the word "quality" in English (as well also in Australian, right?) comes from the same torment (to obtain good quality). But, torment or not, the people must choose, so that somebody must help them in this. And exactly this is our task now -- to help the people, offering them some simple algorithms for choosing.
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==>*_1. Algorithm of the wife_*
-->It consists in this, that two or three days before the elections the husband asks his wife for whom she is going to vote. As far as in our situation there are usually two leading parties, then after she names the one party he simply chooses ... /_the other_/ one! This rule is known already from Roman times and usually gives very good results in cases of electoral torments of various character. For single living men, naturally, there are not problems to ask their girl friend (or favorite feminine colleague), so that this nearly solves the problem for the masculine half of the population.
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==>*_2. Algorithm of the husband_*
-->It, for its part, is based on the /_natural orientation_/ of the man, expressed in the most masculine in him. In the election day, when the husband gets from the bed, washes himself, breakfasts, and becomes dressed, for to go out to vote, his wife simply looks at him attentively, in order to find out ... in which direction of his trousers he has put his masculine part! In this way she now knows whether she must vote for the left-wing or the right-wing parties, and if occasionally sees that it stand by him in the middle, then she votes for the most powerful centrist party. For unmarried women there are no problems to spend the night before the elections with their beloved man, or, if this in the moment is difficult to be done (for some physiological or other reasons), then to call him in the morning by the phone and ask him about this with the inherent for their sex coquetry. Even if this surprises in some extent the man, then this surprise will be only pleasant for him.
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==>*_3. Algorithm of the home pet_*
-->This algorithm can be applied with little dogs, kitties, hamsters, or with a small child which still crawls on the ground. On small pieces of paper are written the initials of 5-6 parties, between which one is in doubt for which one to vote, then they are rolled in small balls and put in the middle of the room, or on a small rug. After this you retreat a bit away, in order not to disturb the natural curiosity of the pet, but watch it carefully, and when it begins to play with some of the balls you take it from the pet, unfold it, and read what you have written on it. In this way your choice is done for you in an objective and impartial way, though it is necessary, of course, to approach the matter /_fair_/, not to allure the "independent voter" with paper pieces where earlier was wrapped something tasty for it (or him or her). If you occasionally have neither little crawling child, nor animal pet, then you just make a visit to some of your friends who have it, and you can be sure that you will spend an interesting and pleasant meeting with them.
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==>*_4. Algorithm of the gentleman_*
-->As it is known, the gentleman usually defends the weakest party (because the strongest has no need of defence), and in this way he makes his contribution to the creation of more just social order. The weakest party in this case are such parties that have no chances to reach the first place, but at the same time they have interesting platforms or leaders. For this reason the gentleman rejects the first 2-3 leading political powers and votes for some between the weaker ones (eventually using one of the other methods of choice), so that even if his party will not enter the Parliament he remains with a clear conscience that he has done the right thing.
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==>*_5. Algorithm of the flock_*
-->It is directly opposite to the previous method and consists in this, that is voted for those who will win the elections, according to some preliminary examination of public opinion. In this way the elector is sure that he has not wasted his vote and has made full use of his right of voting, but if he still has some doubts about the exact political power from the first three possible then he can apply also some other from the given here algorithms. This is a very good strategy for our country because it unites the population, instead of disuniting it.
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==>*_6. Algorithm of the proportional choice_*
-->It consist in the following: on a cardboard circle with diameter about 25 cm are painted circular sectors with different width, but proportionally to the preliminary prognoses for the parties in the elections. These sectors may be coloured with felt pens or colour pencils, and in the middle of the circle is made a hole (preferably with some sharp tubule) and with the use of a nail inserted in this hole the circle is fixed to the door of the room. This is the electoral target, and in addition to it is needed also some small dart, but if you have not such thing you can make yourself easy one using a bigger needle and passing though its eye a long thread about half to one meter, so that the needle was able to fly straight ahead. You can exercise yourself for days with this target, but in order to have more independent choice is necessary to learn to rotate it, and when you retreat at about two meters, only then to throw the dart. In the day of elections it remains to you to do the final and decisive throw. This algorithm not only alleviates your choice, but also turns it into an interesting and pleasant activity.
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==>*_7. Algorithm of the enigmatic_*
-->This algorithm is based on deciphering of the hidden meaning of some (seemingly unrelated with the elections) texts like, for example: your horoscope from the day preceding the elections in the preferred by you newspaper; some liked by you culinary recipe about something tasty; some publication on the sports page of the newspaper; interesting (or on the contrary, annoying) advertisement; 13th (or first, or last) page of the book that you read; and so on. Then you begin to read the text letter by letter, trying to get the initials of 5-6 parties between which you hesitate. These letters is hardly to expect to go exactly one after the other, and for that reason you write on a piece of paper the /_minimal distance_/ between the first and the last letter of each of the parties, for which this became possible to happen. If occasionally you can not succeed to get some initials, then try in reversed order, or read every second letter only (or third, etc.). With enough perseverance and patience it is impossible not to succeed to read sometime something, what the mere fate has predestined as your choice, and in addition to this your time will pass interesting and meaningful.
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-->Well, this is all, dear readers, choose the preferred by you method, or some combination of the given here, and go boldly to vote, without the usual torments and sufferings to whom to give your vote. And if you feel yourself capable, then why not to invent some own algorithm? Take care only that it was sufficiently easy for applying, objective and independent from your moods in the given moment, so that you will not regret later that have lifted not the right politician, not the proper political power which was necessary to be lifted. And don't forget also that if you will not lift the leaders on the high arena, there is nobody else to do this, so that: help at least those people!
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-->April 1999
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===>*_/_NOMEN EST NUMEN_/! (To name is to define!)_*
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-->For a long time nobody in Bulgaria has whatever doubts that we are country of miracles, if you want only because /_in spite_/ of the democracy we still exist, i.e. no matter that we are now a democratic state we are still far behind in regard of our living standard, compared with the situation under our "Bai Tosho", and in the near 10-20 years "from nowhere our eyes can see a hope coming" (as the poet has said). But there is nothing to wonder, for it turns out that everything was because of the ... /_names_//* of our politicians!
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-->[ * And as far as these names is expected to say nothing to the readers in English I will add in ordinary parentheses a pair of words about the people, which words are absent in Bulgarian original. I have "sinned" in this sense also in some places in other materials earlier, without adding of explicit footnotes. ]
-->
-->Well, judge for yourself: was it not clear that Sofianski will become mayor of *_/_Sofia_/_*, because it (the city) is, in fact, his, isn't it? But we have wasted our time on various elections and have spent a heap of money and nerves, while the people would have chosen him even five times, if this was possible, for the above reason. Or that Videnov, being "*_/_viden_/_*" (what is eminent in Bulgarian) man, must stand at the head of the communists, sorry -- socialists --, and he took the lead (and the consequences did not delay). Or also that Parvanov must be that man now -- because who else if not Parvanov must be "*_/_parvi_/_*" (or prav in Bulgarian, what is first), ah? ( Or maybe it will be better to introduce here the letter "a°", like that in your "girl", and then the name will be Pa°rvanov, and the adjective /_pa°rvi_/ or /_pra°v_/. ) But this, will somebody object, are simply random coincidences. Well, then you count them on you fingers, when you think so, and when your fingers run out then continue with the toes, or take also the hands of your beloved and continue with her fingers (as well also move to her legs later), because two hands here will surely not suffice, and we will continue meanwhile with our survey.
-->Let us take, for example, Stoianov -- a good name, and the man is also good, he is obviously chosen to "*_/_stoi_/_*" (i.e. stand) on a high place, and because he is also Petar (Peta°r, more precisely), i.e. *_/_petro_/_*nimus, what in Latin means earth or stone (where from the petrol has come), then the man has stood like a stone on his place (of President) and everyone sees and hears him at least three times in a day, what is more than even the talks about our former "dad" or "uncle" or "bai" (Tosho /Todor Zhivkov) on the media. And he, this "bai" /"uncle" was named Zhivkov, right? And because of this the man has "*_/_zhivia_/_*" (i.e. lived) for quite a long time on the throne, and in general (and give God to everyone so much, for how our nation has begun to grow younger, when now people can not reach even 70 years and die, and the young ones only reach their 25 years and are already out of the country, then it can well happen that the average age by us will, maybe, come close to the Christ's 33 years).
-->Or look at the Zheliu (Zhelev), was it really not clear that he is "*_/_zhelezen_/_*" (i.e. iron) man and will smash the communism to smithereens, right? But he was not so very "steely" like Stalin and because of this he succeeded not to the end. This is so, but here is not only this, because he was also Zhelev, where we find the usual "*_/_shele_/_*" (jelly), and this was a thing that his people have noticed and for this reason wanted to change him. They, surely, succeeded in this, but, after all, not earlier than the end of term, because along with this jelly there was also some iron, so that he withstood his mandate till its end, and now wishes to be chosen again, if only there will be found people willing to vote for him.
-->Ah, there was also one Sabev (Sa°bev), who ... had a grudge (and we say a "tooth", which in Bulgarian is "*_/_zab_/_*" /"za°b") against nearly everybody -- against the communists, against the Holy Synod (for he was a priest), and as if also against the whole Bulgaria, because in the recent time is heard nothing about him and he could have moved to other "humans" across the ocean to spread the word of God. But there is also one Trenchev (boss of Trade Unions), who, as could have been expected from his name, has blossomed like a "*_/_tren_/_*dafil" (what is a rose in Turkish and known as archaic word in Bulgarian) in our democratic garden , and how he has not fought for place around the state's dining table so he has already secured it, because they invite him often to have a "chat" (or "laf-moabet" in Turkish, talks during a drinking bout) on different labour matters.
-->Or let us take one clever man -- one Solomon! He has abandoned his exact sciences (mathematical logic), because with them one can not earn much "bread", and as far as he was also Passi, then he has made several "*_/_pass_/_*es", in order to pass us to the countries around the North Atlantic, no matter that, however great Bulgaria was in old times, it has never reached to the South Atlantic (to say nothing about the North one). But as far as the "passing" was in his name then he simply will pass us to those states and his Solomonic eye will not even blink (how it happened, because he built even earlier the Atlantic Union in Bulgaria, and later become Prime Minister during the ruling of Tsarist party).
-->And one, really, good man, has failed only because he was named Slabakov (he was a known actor), and have pulled down with him one /_viden_/-eminent person, because, well, how is it possible that a reasonable /_homo_/ can decide to make coalition with some "*_/_slabak_/_*" (or /_slab_/, what means weak), ah? Coalitions are made only with strong persons, for otherwise people will not respect them at all. And have you asked yourself sometime why one Attorney General must be named Tatarchev, ah? Well, because everyone is afraid of the *_/_Tatar_/_*s, and when so then he respects (as much as this is possible under democratic conditions) the Attorney, as well as our laws, of course. It is not that we all, the Bulgarians, are, in one extent or another, Tatars, what is well seen in our debates in the Talking Shop, ouch, pardon me, -- in the Parliament -- but, maybe, exactly for this reason we choose such persons who are greater "Tatars", than we are. Now we have on this post one Mr. Filchev, who is also good, because this means that he is very precise and exact (/_fin_/ in Bulgarian, what is "fine" because the word is Latin), i.e. *_/_fili_/_*greed in regard of applying of the laws, and this, that he is also Nikola, i.e. heir of the name of Greek goddess of victory, Nike, only makes him honour (among the criminal underworld). In general, for such persons is not so important that the people loved them, than that they were afraid of them, and these do their hard work.
-->And in order not to think that this naming is valid only for politicians, then look at one Asparuchov (known footballer from the past): would he have been such if he was not descendant of the brave warriors of Khan Asparuh (or Isperih -- and the "h" is pronounced --, from the First Bulgarian Kingdom already in the 7th century), who have raised "steam" (what is "/_para_/" in Bulgarian or "/_par_/" in Russian, but the root is ancient Greek) everywhere where they passed, or have "*_/_razpar_/_*iali" (torn, split) any defence, however good it only was? Or also Christo Stoichkov (present-day's known footballer): would he remained to "*_/_stoi_/_*"-stand for so long like the brightest star on our football horizon, if he was not also one *_/_Christ_/_* for Bulgarian football?
-->But it can't be that you do not know one Ganchev, right? ( Well, outside of Bulgaria he might not be known, but he has quite successfully /_tried_/ to enter the politics  ) He confuses us a little with his family (as well also with his first name, which in one passport was Georges, but read with "zh", and in another one Georgi, and this time with "g") but if you substitute in his family the leading "g" with the similar "h", or rather with the hard "kh", how they write in on the West, then it is seen that he is one "Khanchev", i.e. *_/_Khan_/_* of the Bulgarians! That is how must be looked at this person, and, nothing surprising, that it comes out exactly so, because this is written in his name and the names do not deceive.
-->Because when his candidacy put various "*_/_ovchari_/_*" (shepherds, coming from Bulgarian /_ovtsa_/ what is your sheep), i.e. Ovcharovs /Ovcharovtsis, you see well that they can not win elections. Yet not this is strange, that they do not win, but that they put their candidacy at all, because nobody in the world has succeeded going against his name! While some of us, whom the very fate were predestined to wield /_bos*_dugan_*s_/ (or buzdugan, mace or cudgel with spikes, this is Turkish word), like Dogans (Akhmed Dogan the leader then of the Turkish ethnic minority party in Bulgaria), for example, wield them for ten years quite successfully with one small party, which can not gather together even 10 percent of the seats in the Parliament.
-->Or we can take also one Simeon (our hereditary King, only not crowned). It may seem to be a good name, only that the English, when you say to them "*_/_simian_/_*", understand something like the human, but not exactly, and most often an ape! They, surely, are cultured people, and will never say this to the person in the eye, but will think so. We also, here, do not say that this is true, we only fulfill our duty to him, id est not him to think that with this name he can become our King! For he can otherwise imagine this, looking at us, seeing how we only quarrel and show obvious need of somebody, who could unite us as nation, yet not around some parties and unions, but under one ancient institution, which has withstood the test of passed centuries. Only not under such name, but, probably, under some Dragan (where "/_drag_/" is dear, i.e. that one felt simply glad to chose him), or around some Boil (where "/_boia se_/" is to have fear, so that one will be afraid of him and listen to him), or also Petar /Peter (stony), or Stoian (stable), or Manol (with hard /_manus_/-hand), or Teofil (in Latin Theophilus, loving God), and so on.
-->Then let us take Blagovest (Sendov, mathematician, was earlier Chairman of Bulgarian Academy of Sciences, and later, in his old age, moved to politics), is one such name that at once says you that he is a clever and reasonable man, because he carries only "*_/_blagi vesty_/_*" (i.e. good news) and, although he is officially member of no party, he lived well during the totalitarian years, and now also lives not bad; while his brother (who is also mathematician), because he is only some "*_/_dar ot boga_/_*" (gift from God) for his parents, or Bozhidar (/_bozhi_/ is from God and /_dar_/ is a present), continues to remain unknown to the general public, due to the fact that not those people have engendered him. As well also Kostov (economist, from UDF) informs us right away that he engages himself only with things that can be sold (the English to cost comes from German /_kosten_/, and is also Latin), or who have /_*_costu_*ema_/-costing price, as is said (or, maybe, it has to be said now "/_kostovena_/" price?). He, really, does exactly so, sells everything that can be sold, and to anyone who gives more, even if it goes about a whole country, because in the world of capital everything is sold, countries too. And also with this Ivan as first name, what comes from the Russian "*_/_iva_/_*" (what is a willow), what says that he has flexible back (and the willow is flexible) and bends to where the wind blows, so that not to be harmed by bad climatic conditions, he has all chances to endure another ten years on the political arena, so that you see how very indicative are the names. ( And don't discard, please, this hypothesis of mine about the name Ivan, because I think the same idea is hidden also in the ... ivory; don't be confused with the fact that Ivan is biblical name, because it does not sound like John, nor like Yonah, nor also like your Ivanhoe, because we pronounce is as is written, 'ivan', and there is this piercing cry 'iii', and it curves, modulates. )
-->Then there is one Blaga Dimitrova (a feminine writer), and why has she so rapidly been moved in the dead track? Well, because she was too "*_/_blaga_/_*" (gentle, gracious) and is also a women, which has "*_/_duma_/_*la" (thought in Russian) too much! From the "/_dim_/" (a smoke, in Bulgarian, or also similarly in Russian) was formed the Russian /_duma_/ and from here comes the name Dimitar (Dimita°r, in Bulgarian, or Dmitriy in Russian), which was not much honoured in Bulgaria already from the times of "Gosho" (i.e. Gergi) Dimitrov (our, as well international, eminent communist leader). We are not like the ancient Greeks, for to be impressed by some words -- to us give actions and thrillers -- and because of this also the newspaper "/_Duma_/" (of BSP, Bulgarian socialists-communists) was barely able to collect cents in order to be issued, while some other newspapers like "/_Hours_/" (24 Hours, 168 Hours), "/_Trud_/"-labour, and "Standart"-standard, are read so that even "smoke rises", as we like to say. And one more Dimitrov has also become not specially famous, though this not because of his family of thinker, but because his mother and father have given him the name Filip /Phillip (fervent UDF leader, i.e. destroyer of communism, only without whatever creativity, of course), and it is the same as Russian *_/_filin_/_*, what means -- I beg his pardon -- simply an owl. Yeah, though a party that puts "owls" at the head, even if it is not party but coalition, will not reach too far, at least until it does not change them with others.
-->While at the same time Alexanders are not deprived of chances for success, because their name is derived in the easiest way from German "*_/_alles_/_*", what means "all" and, sure thing, was known to the ancient Romans already in the times of Mr. Macedonian. These are all persons who want to have everything and in such case they choose to stay at the head, either of an army, or of a Parliament, or of Government, or of something else of the kind. There is also Mr. Karakachanov (the youngest politician, maybe), who has set himself similar goal, but: where to with this family, boy? Who nowadays respects the /_karakachans_/ (practically extinguished nomadic tribe in Bulgaria that lives in the mountains and breeds cattle), or who will respect them in the future? It is clear that the man is pretty /_green_/ (he is Leader of the Green Party) and because of this makes this errors. When he matures and reddens enough, or maybe becomes blue (i.e. goes to UDF) like an eggplant, and if he changes his family, then, with this Alexander in front, maybe "his parachute will open" (idiomatic for to succeed in Bulgarian), yet for the moment the "all" is quite away from him. And another man with the same name -- Tomov -- will also hardly succeed much, because the Doubting *_/_Thoma_/_*s is a name known since biblical times, and it is seen that he is neither with the red, no dares to become blue enough. This is one very unstable, at least for a politician, name. If he decides to change it to, say, Lomov, what comes from the breaking and smashing (/_lomatj_/, with soft ending "t", in Russian) then he will see how the tings will become at once better, because people honour those who break outdated norms (even if they have nothing better to offer). Or then to Tomboliev -- then people maybe will choose him, for everybody likes to play in tombolas or lotteries, and it may happen that they will suddenly win something for themselves, with his help.
-->Or there was one young boy -- Emil -- who never succeeded to come to terms with the "*_/_komshuluk_/_*" ("/_komshiia_/" is a neighbour in Turkish) in our country and went to the States and now lives there not bad and does not complain. But it turned out that the snag was in his family Koshlukov, what is as if shortened from Komshulukov, and if it was some other then he, probably, would have remained in Bulgaria and would have built the democracy as thousands of other politicians, because his first name was Emil, what is a very "*_/_milo_/_*" (i.e. nice) name, isn't it? Or take also one Reneta, who has a very nice name -- like a juicy apple (a sort of apples, I suppose) --, and if it was not this Indzhova after it, which makes a heap of Bulgarians to put ahead of it the letter "m" (and "/_mindzha_/" is Turkish or Gypsy jargon for, I beg your pardon, vagina), she would have entered already in real Governments, not only in such that last "from the morning till the noon" as the saying by us goes (i.e. temporary, for a month, I think).
-->And now look at Mrs. Mihailova: one may say that she has run after the "*_/_mihalia_/_*" (the expression "run after the /_mihalia_/" means to "chase the wind" and I suppose it is distorted from /_mistral_/) with this family of her, yet as far as she is Ekaterina /Katharina /Catherine, what means that she can well "*_/_kateri_/_*" (climb up, this is something Greek because they have many word beginning on kata- there) -- just like a squirrel (which for this reason is "/_katerichka_/" in Bulgarian) -- has already climbed high enough, and it will be nothing surprising if she will put her candidacy also for President, because the climbing is in her blood. Similar things with another dame with the same family -- Nadezhda. When one hears this name one can not fail to be delighted, because she may as well warrant one's hopes (a "hope" is exactly "*_/_nadezhda_/_*" in Bulgarian, Russian, and others Slavonic languages), and even become Minister (for we, anyway, live only with hopes -- 10 years earlier we hoped that when there arise many parties, or companies, the things will begin at once to go smoothly hereafter, but it turned out that the point wasn't in their number, but in their quality and magnitude; now, on the contrary, we hope that their number will at last decrease, in order for them to become larger, like by the totalitarianism).
-->And what can be said about Mr. Simeonov, who, except that is like a monkey (according to his family, of course), but is /_five_/ times more such, because is named Petko (and five is "*_/_pet_/_*" in Bulgarian, also Friday, as fifth day of the week, is /_petak_/ /peta°k)? A good man, but the name is bad, and when so then he is not suitable for politician, no matter that is liberal (i.e. of the Liberal Party). And there is also Mr. Beron, who was born to earn ("*_/_bera_/_*" in Bulgarian is to gather, and here come all English berries, and the root was Sanskrit, some /_bhas_/) the fruits of his labour, but when you connect him with this stone (Petar, and the stone is Latin) in front and it turns that he can at the best "earn" some stone on the head. In fact, with this family, even if his parents have christened him Gosho, he could have, still, reached something big is his life, but who was there to tell this to them in their time? The communists have looked with contempt at such "nonsense", according to them, like /_nomenology_/, and you see now the deplorable results for our democracy.
-->Or let us look for a while to the farmers, or rather to the peasant parties. Milan is a very good name, as we have already said (/_mil_/-nice), but what are doing here these "*_/_drenki_/_*" (cornels in English) after it (meant that his family is Drenchev), ah? Maybe this is allusion that he is a big thorn ("/_draka_/" in Bulgarian) and it is better to have nothing in common with him, or else this is again blunder, but this time of his great-great-grandfather? By some of the others occur one more time the name Gosho, what, after all, sounds bad (what is "/_losho_/" in Bulgarian and it rhymes here)! And the not unknown lady Anastasia, suffers mainly because people can not grasp who she really is, Ana or Stanka, and such instability on the political arena can not bring her the adoration of the populace, right? And in addition to this her family Moser sounds for us even more enigmatic and also frightening, because it reminds us about some *_/_Mauser_/_*s, and we are peaceful nation, due to the fact that the Turks have thought us this for five centuries of yoke, where the Serbs, as you see, because their hands always "*_/_sarbiat_/_*" ("sa°rbiat", are itching in English) to begin to fight with somebody (you know that there is such belief when your hands are itching that you want to do something), have barely waited that the democracy gave them this possibility and began at once to combat.
-->But as far as it is time to finish then let us make also our proposition for the ideal politician, from the viewpoint of science *_nomenology_*, which we have mentioned above. There are, naturally, many variants, and they depend on the political climate in the moment, on the sex of the person, on the external features and the character of him or her, but, still, let us propose several names. For example, what is bad with one Alexandar Stoichev as President or Prime Minister, because he will /_ustoiava_/-withstand all attacks (mainly of his people, because those of the others, as a rule, are slighter)? Or also Miroslav Krastev (Kra°stev), who for this reason is so christened ("/_krasten_/ /"/_kra°sten_/" in Bulgarian), because will become famous ("/_slaven_/") all around the world ("/_mir_/")? Though the name can also be Dimo Kratski -- both, short name, and easy to be remembered, and which has sucked into itself the quintessence of *_/_democracy_/_*, so that, in whatever party he does not enter, he will move upward, until comes at the head of the entire country, because he was born to be democrat and will remain it (unless he makes the error to change his name). Or also Slavi Bozhkov, ah? He will always /_slavi_/-glorify God, or he alone will be the /_slava_/-glory of God, what is good seen on the example of our Ivan Slavkov, who was famous under the totalitarianism (he become son in law of Todor Zhivkov), and now people think he is nearly a god (what in Bulgarian and other Slavonic languages is "/_bog_/", and the word was of Persian origin, /_baga_/), because stands at the head of BOK (what is Bulgarian Olympic Committee)! And could you imagine what would have been if he was named Bozhan Slavkov? Ah, then there would have been no need to held elections for President, right?
-->Prosecutors and judges, on the other hand, must stake on the brute force and perseverance, on the fear, power, health, quickness, et cetera. And for the women, because the political arena starts to become more and more their field of career, what is easily explainable with the fact that the women are, as a rule, more /_mediocre_/ personalities, who must listen to what the others say to them and make this in a sweet, pleasant, and non-confronting way, what is entirely justified also for the politicians, as resonators of the voice of people (even if they sometimes turn to resound ... hollow), we can propose the following names: Milena Govorliyska, Slavka Balgaranova, Ivanka Hubcheva ("/_hubav_/" is like German /_hu:bsch_/ and means nice, agreeable), Padka (or also Radostina -- "/_radost_/" is joy, happiness) Emilova, Svob`oda Iskrenova ("/_iskren_/" is honest) or Rumiana ("/_rumen_/" is rosy, ruddy) Stoianova (quite neutral names and suitable for all Cabinets), Stanka Liubenova (where is possible also masculine variation as, for example, Liuben Stoianov; "/_liubim_/" means beloved), Nartasha Matseva (no Russophobe will reject her -- for the reason that "matse" is like German /_Mietze_/ and means a girl), Zheny Miroliubska (the family means that she loves the world), Lili Dimova (evokes associations about smell of /_liuliak_/-lilac and smoke of domestic hearth), Petrana Blazheva, Eleonora Moneva (or the lonely Eleanor -- both neutral and a little exciting), and many others.
-->
-->June 2000
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-->*_P.S._* The question with the names is, obviously, very important for a politician, or generally for some star in whatever field, and for this reason many choose pseudonyms for themselves that would say something (subconsciously or without realizing this) to the people. For the passed nearly ten years can be added also: Stanishev (leader of the "social-communists"), who, it is absolutely clear, has always dreamed to "/_stane shef_/" (become boss, exactly so), because such was the message of his parents to him; the perky Volen Siderov (leader of our, however sad it is, fascists -- but there is nothing to fear, because he has never gathered more than 6-7 % of the votes), who probably hopes that his electors will appraise how free-thinking he is (because "/_volno_/" means free), as well also will make association with one /_hayduk_/ Sider, about whom in the old days were sung songs; the shyly blinking (to blink is "/_migam_/" in Bulgarian) Miglena (from the Tsarist party, which now has almost ceased to exist),but also Kuneva and with pretty skillful hands ("/_kunka_/" in Bulgarian is children jargon for a hand), so that was able to move anywhere; and surely also others.
-->2008
-->
-->*_-- -- -- -- --_*
-->
===>*_HOW TO FILL THE TREASURY_*
-->
-->Let us first express our gratitude, ladies and gentlemen, to the Chief Financial Officer of the Republic for his decision from 18 Dec 98 about this, that from Jan the 1st 99 already
-->
==>*_one minimal salary is equal to /_two_/ such salaries,_*
-|in the sense of social insurance. Many people underestimate the epochal meaning of this fact, but it opens unexpected horizons before our economy and finances, because in this way /_any_/ number can be equaled to any other! For this purpose suffice only two rules, namely: /_1 = 1_/, which can be named rule of the common sense (RCS), and /_1 = 2_/, which we will name rule of the Finance Minister (RFM). In view of the symmetry of equality, i.e. that it is true in both directions, RFM means also that /_2 = 1_/, or /_1 = 1/2_/ . For example, let us now prove that 5 = 9. This is done easily splitting the five in 4 + 1, and then for the first number applying the RFM, and for the second -- RCS, and the achieved results are added. In similar way can be redefined also the arithmetic with common fractions, working separately in the numerator and denominator, as well as that with decimal fractions, where we are working with their integer and fractional parts, and after this they are glued together.
-->This is discovery of genius and the world will only now recognize it, but it alone is not enough to fill the state treasury, pillaged by the communists during their totalitarian ruling, and because of this it is duty of every patriotic citizen (as well also villager) to make his or her contribution for establishing of new taxes and payments for the state. The modest contribution of the author consists of ten variants, some of which have been applied in the human history and, hence, have proved their expediency, and the others can become our national contribution on this subject. So that let us begin.
-->
==>*_1. Toilet tax_*
-->For each toilet (WC) in the home has to be paid tax of 1 lev per day, and for a toilet in the yard -- half of this sum/*, independently of the number of persons who are using it. As far as in an average family of 3 persons the toilet is used as minimum 10 times in a day, this would have made only by 10 cents for one usage, what, after all, is at least twice (or rather 3-4 times) cheaper than the public toilets in the streets, more hygienic and convenient for the citizens, and would not burden especially the family budget, but, on the other hand, a sum of 360 lv in an year would be a good inflow in our state budget. Yet because we live in a free society everybody must have also the right to decline using of his (or her) toilet, filing a request for its sealing, where there are no problems for him to conclude an agreement with his neighbour to use his, paying him part of the amount.
-->
-->[ * As far as the material was written when we have already introduced our money Board the prices are current and 1 lev = 1/2 Euro (or one old German mark). ]
-->
==>*_2. Shoe tax_*
-->Every Bulgarian citizen must pay yearly a tax in the amount of 10 lv monthly if he wears shoes on the street and other public places, during that time. The tax is paid as yearly, but if somebody wants in some months, say, in June, July, and August, to go barefooted then he must declare this in the Municipality, till the end of the month preceding his barefoot walking (in our example till the end of May), and then he will have to pay for the year only 90 levs. Must be provider, though, fines in ten-fold amount, if it will be proved that someone has filed request for exemption of the tax, but all the same was seen during that time to go on street in shoes by at least two witnesses.
-->
==>*_3. Sweet excise_*
-->On all sugar products (with sugar content of more than 20 %, in order that this does not affect the diabetics) must be paid excise duty in the amount of 50 cents per kg sugar, what is justified because the sweet corrupts the teeth, it is not vitally necessary like the proteins and milk products, neither is so caloric like the fats. Such excise exists in Poland, and it is simply not clear why it is not yet applied in Bulgaria, having in mind that a kilo sugar costs nearly as liter milk, and sugar is consumed at least five times less, so that the pockets of the citizens will not suffer much.
-->
==>*_4. Teeth tax_*
-->It is time to resurrect again the known in the past teeth tax (during our Turkish yoke, although not officially and as excuse for begging of money by the Turkish governmental officers), yet now going out of the equality of all before the law. It has to be paid on a yearly basis in the amount of 5 lv per live tooth, where for such is counted that, which is preserved more than on the half (according to assessment of health authorities), but in this case the milk teeth are not counted. By an average teeth loading of the human of 20 teeth this will give in an year only 100 lv, approximately as much as costs a single dental prosthesis, and in this sense such law will help for reaching of some democratic equality of people with healthy teeth with those with prostheses, but not harming neither of them. At the same time it is clear that everyone will prefer to pay this tax (and fill the treasury) instead of to pull out his teeth (paying for the prostheses).
-->
==>*_5. Tax on life_*
-->As far as the most precious thing in the world is the human life, then for it, /_naturally_/, must be paid tax to the state. Our proposition is the following: every Bulgarian citizen who has reached age of majority must pay a lump sum in the amount of ten minimal working salaries for the female sex, and twenty for the male one, where this tax can be paid in installments during five years with some minimal added interest, after what this interest becomes punitive. Divided to the average life span this is one ridiculously small sum yearly for such precious asset.
-->
==>*_6. Sexual tax_*
-->Because people make sex predominantly for enjoyment, not for continuation of the gender, it is wholly /_justified_/ to impose tax on this activity. Our proposition is to pay by one lev per intercourse, applying the following fixed base: for persons between 15 and 25 years -- by one intercourse daily, for those between 25 and 35 years -- by four intercourses weekly, from 35 to 45 -- by three times in a week, from 45 to 55 -- by two times in a week, and for the left till 65 years -- once in a week, and those older than 65 years are /_entirely_/ exempted of this tax. Of course, everybody who wanted can refuse the paying of this tax under condition that he /she proves before medical authorities that is impotent /frigid, or moves in the next lower category, by notarized declaration of three witnesses confirming the reduced number of intercourses, measured during at least one month.
-->
==>*_7. Anti-corruption tax_*
-->In connection with the increased corruption in our country we think that it is necessary to create an Anti-Corruption Fund (ACF), which must be filled by means of this tax in the amount of half minimal monthly salary in an year from each citizen of age. In this case every senior public officer, to whom some bribes and other benefits are offered, beyond those according to his labour contract, man apply to ACF declaring the offered sum and asking higher from the Fund, but yearly not more than the doubled amount of his official income for the previous calendar year. This is fighting of corruption on the principle "/_fight fire with fire_/" and is expected that it will give good results on our native ground.
-->
==>*_8. Sun tax_*
-->Because it is well known that the Sun not only shines but also warms us, and is main cause for the growth of animals and plants, it is right that every citizen paid also tax in accordance with the number of sunny days in the year. They must be declared in the beginning of every year for the past one, by regions of the country, and every citizen of a given region must pay tax in the amount of one percent of the minimal monthly salary for sunny day, or half percent -- for foggy one. Of course, the days with solar eclipses /_must_/ be excluded from this number, in order not to burden excessively the population with unbearable taxes.
-->
==>*_9. Working tax_*
-->Every citizen with permanent work, or paying his insurance as working for the given period, must pay also tax in the amount of: 5 % of the salary (or that on which basis he is ensured) for the first five years on this working place, 4 % -- for the next five years on the same place, and only 3 % for more that ten years on one and the same place. The significance of the job for the life of everybody is obvious, what necessitates this tax.
-->
==>*_10. Democratic tax_*
-->Because the democracy is the most significant achievement in the social area in the present days, for it, as also for everything good on this world, must be paid dearly. From this standpoint is justified paying from each citizen of age and to the reaching of him (her) 70 years of one common democratic tax in the amount of half minimal monthly salary in an year for his right to live in our dear homeland. Double citizenship does /_not_/ give grounds for exemption from this tax, but sick days and staying in medical institutions can be later restored to the person in proportion with the time. Surely also must be allowed that people with permanent injuries, unemployed, and disabled were exempted from this tax in the name of humanity.
-->
-->With timely applying of major part of these taxes even in this year is obvious the unavoidable development and improvement of our democratic society. Only in this way the young democratic sprouts will grow up and begin to bear fruit, what in turn will express itself in an incessant enhancement of the welfare of our nation now, and in the bright democratic future. Thank you for the attention.
-->
-->July 2000
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-->*_-- -- -- -- --_*
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===>*_ABOUT THE USEFULNESS OF COCKROACHES (/_scientific_/ feuilleton)_*
-->
-->Well, there are many reasons exactly about the benefits of our constant companions in our homes nowadays and because of this I quietly say that I am feeding cockroaches at home, for it turns out to be really so. I am looking at them, as cares about them (because, if I was not there, then they also would not have been there, at least not in such abundance), but also as watching them (will I this or not, where necessary -- if it is at all necessary somewhere, even if I don't understand clearly where exactly --, and where not), in all time, but especially in the evenings and nights (approximately before the beginning of the dawn) and mostly in the kitchen joint. So that let me explain to the readers why they are so useful, in order to dedicate them this material.
-->The *_first consideration_* is that once God has created them then /_they must exist_/, otherwise they wouldn't have existed! This is iron logic, of the type of ancient Eastern view, that this world is the best one from all possible (for if there was some better one then it would have been settled long ago). If some of you don't like the word "God" then substitute it with "Nature", i.e. the cockroaches are part of the whole ecological cycle on Earth, especially in the hot areas, so that if there was not necessity of them then they, surely, would have disappeared (say, in our climatic zones there are not white bears, right, but in the North they exist, yet there are no cockroaches). In general case this is correct also for many other insects (for the flies, gnats, spiders, and others), but the next things are already more specialized, and the idea is that they multiply exactly where is felt some necessity of them (because otherwise they would have not done this, to remind you this again), and if we don't understand clearly their significance (i.e. God's intentions), then this is our problem.
-->The *_second consideration_* is that they /_exist from deep antiquity_/, far before the mammals, and when so then they have rich experience and well-tested instincts; regardless of their antiquity, though, when it becomes necessary, they /_mutate_/ easy (like also the other insects), what is confirmed by the fact that now are met mainly ones smaller, reddish (rather reddish-brown) and elongated, not those that were 20-30 years before (black and spherical, although such also are met sometimes. But it is possible that exactly the reddish are the classical type, because your word "cockroach" means "reddish /_cocca_/" or "/_kuka_/" (in Bulgarian, what is hook, meant as something curled). These nasty creatures -- but, to remind you that this word comes from ... the creation, or v.v., of course (and the same is the situation in Slavonic languages, where in Russian they are /_tvari_/ and to create is /_tvorit_/), i.e. they are also God's creations, like the other animals (a thing that was present also in the Western, or rather French, and from there also English, word ... cretin, which has arisen from Latin /_creare_/ what is to create -- and I may add that this must be so because this thing is usually done in deep bowls named in old Greek /_kraters_/ /craters).
-->So that these God's creatures are /_practicably indestructible_/, and as if the most reliable method is ... the cold, i.e. if you stay in cold premises, below 20°C at least in the winter, then they decrease in their number to the possible minimum. Otherwise, when you sprinkle with something, then they run away for some time, but one thing is that they run to your neighbours, what is not solving of the question in it's fullness, but also after some time they return back, if they like it by you, i.e. if it is hot, you cook and spill here and there some food, if there are cupboards and /or boxes (and in what home they are missing?) where they can hide and multiply, and especially in older homes, where are some cracks in the walls or plastering, although I wouldn't have said that they will refuse to settle in a good and new brick home. In order not to separate this as new point I can add here also that they are big ... /_patriots_/, i.e. they like their places, where they have hatched (even if they don't know their father and mother, of course), so that if you drive them away for some time, they return again later.
-->The *_third consideration_* is that they are /_not poisonous, don't bite_/ and don't even buzz, they are quiet and humble "home pets". Actually, the "classical" home fly is far more annoying than one well bred and bashful cockroach (for they, as a rule, are afraid to appear before your eyes, they wait until you go out of the kitchen and then begins their time), not to mention the gnats, spiders, as also the home ants (which can bite, if necessary). Well, it is true that in the night they walk around, and if there are some greased with something boxes (say, styrofoam packagings of meat products), then they begin to scratch them, in order to /_clean_/ them (no matter that you have not begged them specially about this), or it may happen that they can walk on ... your forehead, in order to "wipe your sweat" or fat, so to say, but when you do not guess to do this, and when they suppose that you are sleeping, then why should not the insects make a little walk? In the end, they are living in your home, so that why not to visit you, ah? Indeed, if you have a dog or a cat, or small child, does it not happen that in the night he /she/ it comes to you as to a more secure place; take it that the cockroaches also seek protection by you from their nightmares (because, who knows?).
-->The *_fourth consideration_* is that they are /_not at all dirty_/, like many of us think, but on the contrary, they like to walk around the toothbrush or the sponge for dishwashing, i.e. even if they don't have teeth (I, honestly, have never looked what they have in the mouth), but like the disinfecting aroma, wash at lest their paws, and would have never hidden in dirty corners if you have offered them clear small boxes (as I said, they are shy, they don't like that you watched them when they sleep or, hmm, do these things that do also the humans when the hormones chase after them). So that, as a variant, you could leave for them one kitchen cupboard, or at least a pair of small boxes where you can throw any empty packs (say, out of safety matches, or medicaments, whichever you have, they are not pretentious, but the smaller their size is the better), or these can be simply paper pieces (used tram tickets or cash checks will also do), but don't touch them there and don't try to deceive them, beginning a genocide against them, because they, as we will see later, a quite clever. If in addition to this you pour them in the evening some fresh milk (but natural, do not torture them with dissolved milk powder, they have not deserved this) in one saucer, it can be in the bathroom, or even before the door of the apartment, then, in the end, -- as I have heard the Hindus had the habit to do -- they would be glad, and you too (because they will not scratch where you don't like to).
-->The *_fifth consideration_* is that they even /_cleanse your home_/ of various greasy and fermenting products, stains on the floor, around the sink, on the oven, even around (and possibly also inside of) the refrigerator! Jokes aside, they process these liquid remains in solid product -- such very small, like a head, or even a top, of a pin, but otherwise hygienic black balls, which in fact are their faeces (if I can allow myself to contaminate your hearing or eyesight with these words). Well, it is true that they stick to everything, where they have left them -- and they leave them /_everywhere_/ --, but this is a natural thing, so to say, and how to reprimand them, when also the little children, as well as the home animals, do the same thing, and their things also smell. Where the cockroaches, as I have said, are clear animals, and if they leave something after them, then it is well processed, with assimilated all possible protein substances, or fats, or milk products, but they don't look with contempt also at sweet things (although are not much greedy at them -- while raw minced meat, even if with addition of soya, is another thing).
-->And because this is popular scientific presentation then let me explain to you some moments about the spoiling of products. Now, there are /_two kinds of spoilage_/, one is to preserving, and the other is to destroying; the first is to some kind of fermentation, i.e. oxidation, but is possible that initially goes also some sugarization, because the sugar easily becomes sour (it needs only some water and time), and the other kind is towards the alkaline. This must be confirmed by every chemist, because there are only acids and alkali (if you don't count the neutral substances, but they are only delimiting and unstable state). But this, what hardly some chemist will explain to you, is /_why_/ the alkali is named so (and don't be confused with some etymology from Arabic, this isn't to the point), yet I have myself a version about this matter, I suppose that the alkali is more or less the same as the Russian word "/_kal_/", what are the mentioned faeces. If you doubt about this Russian influence on the chemistry, then compare with these Latin faeces (and take into account that in Latin "c" before "a" is read as "k"), which are split in two syllables (ultimately every word splits in syllables) and the first is some contemptuous (or spitting) /_fi- /fu- /tfu- or /phu-_/, and the second is this very "/_kal_/", which comes from the old Greek, no matter that there it means something good, "kalo", and from there is also Bulgarian "/_kal_/", which now is not so bad a thing as in Russian, it is simply a dirt, like mud. So that I am not in error (but let me not go here into details about this why the root "/_kalo_/" can be both, something good and also something bad), and in this case the cockroaches, as also many other insects, collect everything sour and /or greasy, what they can find, and process it (inasmuch as all animal species process, to some extent, the products, as also the plants, but they do this mainly with inorganic substances) in solid alkaline faeces. Id est, the cockroaches don't eat sh##, as many can possibly think, but are very clean insect-creatures.
-->The *_sixth consideration_* is that they are /_extremely intelligent_/ creatures, and nearly always more clever or smart than the humans, more so taking into account that they have almost nothing, i.e. their "brains" are with dimensions of tip of a pin, and this by older exemplars, to say nothing about the "children", and their eyes are faceted, i.e. they see only spots, something like nearsighted with at least 10 diopters. You just imagine how you would have felt if were forced to watch your favorite TV series on a circular screen (the size does not matter) with about 50 /_spots_/, probably in one colour. And in spite of this they almost always guess your intentions, and when you just stay and look at them they stay quiet, but only you decide to stretch your hand and grasp something in order to kill them, and they have already disappeared. Such rapidness and precision of reactions, by such primitive structure of their organisms, is directly fantastic, and such are the cockroaches, amazing creatures, just to feel remorse to kill them! And it is even not clear, when we destroy them with different chemical agents, don't we do them something ... good in genetic regard, forcing in this way new and better suited mutations (to say nothing about the physical destruction -- this is simply survival of the fittest, i.e. we /_select_/ them in this way!).
-->The *_seventh consideration_*, which is penultimate in our list (or last in a more serious aspect), is that they are unusually slender and beautiful insects, at least the elongated reddish ones, in good physical condition, directly /_acrobats_/, clime the walls, and sometimes even walk on the ceiling, were it only sufficiently warm (higher than 20 degrees Celsius), for the reason that the insects lack yet control of their body temperature. ( And for some time I have looked that one my toothpick, or rather a fragment of such, as if is not on the same place where I have left it the previous day -- I am living alone and there is nobody else to touch it --, but thought that maybe I am wrong, yet when this happened several times I came to the conclusion that these creatures simply ... are exercising sports in the night, they are lifting weights, ah? But maybe this "cockroach-boy" -- because in Bulgarian this insect is "she", or then "girl" because in Russian it is "he", i.e. I mean that the sex may be different from the usually accepted, although in English the usual things sometimes sound unusually --, so maybe this "guy" or "girl:" is simply angry at me that I have left nothing on the toothpick, whether I know, but one Bulgarian intellectual cannot allow himself to leave tasty bits even on the tip of a toothpick, so that let this "insector" or "insectoress" forgive me. )
-->But if they can't regulate their body temperature, then they can lay eggs, which survive the cold times, so that it again turns out that they are built physically very well. Besides, they can cling to practically any surface (plaster, paint, wood, faience, etc.) if only it is not extremely polished, and if you think that they sometimes fall from the table -- because this has to be the idea behind the Russian name "/_tarakan_/", i.e. that they do "trr" when they flop to the ground -- then you are wrong, they simply /_jump_/! Id est they know that they can't fly, but they are light, the reddish ones (and the black ones have hard shell, and surely keep balance better than the cats, so that they land on their paws), and jump from a height of one meter, even of two (what, compared with their dimensions, means that a human jumps from 100 – 200 meters, and without any parachute, maybe only opening a little the flanks of his overcoat!). And they are quite beautiful -- all insects are directly perfect in their structure --, and the healthy body leads to healthy ... sex, of course, in every time, like by the humans, so that: how one can not admire them? ( In fact, if there is something for which I don't like them much, this is that one just can't ... swear at them properly, because, you see, with a cockroach/_ess_/, and more so if it is "he", isn't the best thing to imagine. )
-->
-->Well, on parting we can add an *_eight consideration_* about the usefulness of cockroaches -- this, that they can be quite /_useful as ... food_/! Id est, they maybe are not very tasty (I, for my part, have always felt pity to kill them for this purpose, so that I personally have not tasted them), but they contain fats (it is seen when one smashes them with a good hit), proteins (when they are so agile, because we eat mainly muscles, the so called striated, which are some long fibers and with hooks at both ends and they cling to one another), and also contain calcium, because they have chitin shells and non-developed wings (what is nearly equal to ... milk products, for we eat milk and milk products chiefly because of the calcium in them, that is necessary especially for the young and the old). So that here is one such recipe:
=>*_Cockroaches with rice a la Myrski_*
-->You take one glass jar for stewed fruit, 700 - 800 ml, pour in it half coffee cup of rice (50 g), add a coffee cup of fresh milk (100 ml), pour also a little (10 ml) sunflower oil, put very little salt and sugar (maybe also black pepper, if you have accustomed them to more spicy food), curl around the jar some handkerchief (it might be also used, so is even better) and fix it with elastic band to the orifice, so that it hung down and reached to the floor, but otherwise left the jar open, and put it in the evening in the kitchen or the bathroom, where the cockroaches like to walk. The handkerchief is not obligatory, or can be used also some narrow piece of cloth tied like a cravat, which stretches on the floor, but it is necessary to have something similar in order to alleviate the rising to the top for these little animals, after what they jump -- voluntarily, i.e. you do not compel them, this is quite /_democratic_/ approach -- inside, eat as much as they can, but can't climb back out. If for one night there will not accumulate enough -- they have to be about 50 -100 pieces, otherwise the meal will be very meatless -- then leave the jar for a second (or third) night; don't be afraid that the milk will spoil, it will firstly try to preserve itself through some kind of souring, or add a little vinegar (this may attract even more insects). In the day when you decide to cook this meal you just pour quickly the contents in the saucepan, where you have first fried a little grated union, in more oil, add water for the rice, put the preferred by you spices, but do not forget finely chopped celery, parsley or dill, and after half an hour of cooking (the cockroaches will quickly be ready, they are too small) add, if possible, some grated parmesan. After fife more minutes the meal is ready.
-->Well, this is portion for one person, so that if you are more people, or if you expect guests, then put several such jars, or even ask some of your neighbours to leave for a night a pair of jars by them; usage of bigger jar with increased dose is also a variant, but don't fill much a small jar (maximum till 1/3 of the it, but preferably till the 1/4), because the /_food_/ can run away by you. This dish can be prepared also in clay pots, and then instead of parmesan you can knock on top by one (tiny, it can be from quail) egg, but there is no necessity of other meat additions, in order to be able to feel good the taste of the insects.
-->Well, bon appetite!
-->
-->And love the cockroaches, they deserve this!
-->
-->Sep 2012
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-->*_-- -- -- -- --_*
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===>*_BETTER NOT TO LIVE TO PENSION AGE! (tragicomic saga about Bulgarian pensions)_*
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-->Now, gentlemen, the situation with the pensions in Bulgaria, frankly speaking, is tragic, but as far as the tragic and the comic, according to the ancient Eastern sages, with whom I agree, often touch one another, and to laugh, after all, is better than to cry, then I am writing this material as feuilleton. To laugh is especially good when one has nice teeth, even if they are false or bogus, which one can show to everybody, or when the person, or rather the woman, has stuck in her tongue some gold or gilded push-pin, or something very like this, only with a small ruby or some other precious stone, and because of this opens so wide her mouth that is seen her insatiable (for pleasures) throat, or her tonsils, if she has still not cut them off. Well, if one has not teeth (like, say, your author), then he can smile ironically or cynically, and this, all the same, is better than to pour rivers of tears.
-->Because our transition to democracy, which continues for more than /_25_/ years now -- and it continues because we still live on the average 3-4 times worse than under the totalitarianism -- for some of us proceeds good, but for others it is quite probable to finish only to the end of 21st century. Yet let us move in succession. But have in mind that I am just now going on pension, so that I have learned something, these are pretty exact calculations, it isn't guessing on coffee grounds.
-->So that we will begin with this, that in order to go on pension in Bulgaria one has to have nearly 40 years length of service (38, but this is in the moment, and they increase gradually and after a pair of years will become 40), and have at least 64 years (I round the numbers a little for easy calculations). If one has still not so much service then after a pair of years, now it is nearly 66 years, he or she can go on pension even having only 15 years service. So that, gentlemen, grin, rejoice, because it turns out that even with 15 years length of service one can, thanks to our democracy, retire at last.
-->Though this is not exactly so, naturally, this is the so called half pension, for which before, id est under the bad and inhuman totalitarianism, for this were necessary only 10 years (if I am not wrong). And for normal retirement in the last century was required age of 60 years for the men and 55 for the women. So that for 25 years (to round the calculations) the pension age for men has increased with 5 years, and for women with whole 10 years. Calculate now, children, under this same rate of growth of age, on what age will retire men and women after one century (or in 2115). Well, I don't know how you calculate, but for the women this will make more than hundred. That's it. And this is normal situation, but we have had in Bulgaria even more "normal" (understand, abnormal) situation in the first years of the transition, somewhere maybe up to 1995th, when men could retire on 57 and women on 53, because, you see, our eminent UDF persons, i.e. the only real democrats, from the Union of Democratic Forces (which union nowadays cannot get even /_one_/ percent of the votes), thought that the old people only hinder in vain the young ones to make career and due to this, the sooner we will get rid of them, the better.
-->Further the system of calculating of the pension is relatively simple and, as is said, transparent, because is calculated the gross income for everybody for all years of his (or her) service, it is related to the average income for the country, in tables, all decent and properly, and in this way is obtained the individual coefficient (IC) for the person. Then the average salary in the moment -- mark, in the moment, the pensions are perpetually corrected, just unbelievable (or at least in the beginning are calculated correctly, I have not yet enough statistics for to state this firmly) -- is multiplied by this coefficient and is obtained the basic income for calculation of the pension. After this the last income is multiplied by the percents obtained in the following elementary (and smart) way, counting each year of service for one percent (say, 20 years and 6 months gives 20.5 %), where with PLS will denote these percents of length of service. Then comes one ... mysterious coefficient, which we can denote as MC, and which now in Bulgaria is 1.1, and the obtained PLS, or as income multiplied by PLS, is multiplied by this coefficient and this gives the percentage or amount of the pension. Even -- I have grasped also this -- exists some social threshold, called minimal pension (MP), which enters in force if the calculated pension turns to be less than this threshold.
-->It can be said that this is one directly brilliant system. And if it is such than it most probably is borrowed from the West. Our democratic development, in the framework of European Union, goes directly in European manner, rejoice gentlemen, as well also ladies (especially when your pension age now is equal with that of the men -- an absolute emancipation, directly emanciabsolutization, right?)
-->Perfectly. I have no words. Yet it is better not to live to pension age, as you will understand now. Because .exist a pair of hooks or catches, on which are caught the democratic optimists. Most significant of them are two. The first is that the minimal pension does NOT correspond with the minimal income, not on your nelly, gentlemen! The minimal pension correlates with the /_average_/ income and is a bit (about 10 percents, yet everything is individual) HIGHER then the average income, this is a social umbrella. It exists even a maximal pension which is not more an umbrella, but a hit on the head (with the handle of the umbrella, I suppose), which enters in effect when one has gained too much and something has to be taken back from him. So that if you are an average worker, with average income, with IC exactly equal to 1, then you will receive 1.1*PLS from your salary (which is equal to the average). Id est if you have worked 20 years, then you wil receive 22 % from the average salary, or the minimal, what from both sums is higher.
-->Well, very well, yet there's nothing well in this, as was sung in one song (Russian), because 40 years service this is not 10 and not 20, this is an awful lot of years, there are not many people who live to this, and the young ones simply don't believe that they will live to such age. Some 20 or 25 years is good, and it was so under the totalitarianism, then 20 years sufficed, and now 40 are needed. Enviable social achievement, of course. Well, some may say that it is so also on the West, as with the equal age of pensioning for men and women, too. Yeah, but this is firstly worse than it was under the (bad, don't forget) totalitarianism, and then it is with "national differences". Because if our average person has worked during this awfully long period of 40 years, then he (or she) will receive at best 44 % from his salary. And 44 % is far away from 70 %, how it has to be on the West, and how it was (or at least it was said so) in Bulgaria earlier, under the "people's" democracy, in contrast with our current, definitely, /_anti_/-people's one. It was even spoken earlier that about 60 % receive such people with big salaries, and those who have smaller, then to them is given close to 80 % (for what I can not vouch).
-->So, and now let us look more precisely how much will receive a person if he has worked 40 years, what, as we already said, is pretty much. Well, this will give 44 % of the average salary, which in March 2016 was 730 lv, or 320 lv (1 lv = 1/2 euro, for reference). Is 320 lv much or not (it has already, after half an year, become a bit more) is another question; for living in Bulgaria this as if is not a little, when the minimal monthly salary (MMS) is 420 lv in the same time, but here we compare the average with the minimal, what is not correct. And by this incorrectness we have that 320 / 420 = 76 % (what would have been good if we have compared average with average, yet by us this is not so), and in addition is given that the average pension in Bulgaria in this time is 340 lv, what means that the average number of pensioners have worked nearly 41 years, in what I, by God, just don't believe! The people, you see, die, little by little, and quite a big number of them live not to pension age, say, a priori, about 15 percents, and then in the first five years of receiving of their pension leave for the other world another 15, if not 20 percents. Only those who exceed 70 years they die gradually. This must be so, when the cards for city transport for pensioners are still pretty expensive, like those for school and university students, somewhere about the half of normal cards, but after 70 they drop at once another 2.5 times (and earlier it was more than 3 times). So that in the best case this average pension of 3/4 of /_minimal_/ salary is computed for 85 % of those who have paid pension contributions nearly 40 years and after 5 years they will remain 70 % of all from whom money was transferred to the pension fund.
-->But here also must be some catch -- there is no way without this in Bulgaria --, like for example that the average pension is calculated for those who retire by this paragraph, with service of more then 38 years, but there is a way also with less years of service (to what we will come), as well also many people -- say, about 15 % -- can not at all get whatever pension (even 15 years work is not so little), and they either receive some social pensions, or receive nothing at all. So that most probably this average pension concerns roughly half of the pensioners with service more than 38 years, because somewhere is cited that 1/4 of all pensioners receive the minimal pension, and then maybe another 1/4 of them receive pension bigger than the average bur smaller than the maximal. In short, don't you think that our pensioners receive on the average about 3/4 of MMS, what is relatively decent, no, the average pensioner, if we average over all who must receive pension, then he or she will hardly gather more than half MMS, and many others will get significantly less than this (as you will see now).
-->So that let us begin to decrease the years of service, because exactly then it becomes interesting (and tragic, of course -- the funniest thing in life is when the others suffer, right?). In my view the average must be about 30 years of service, what also in not a little, and such person will receive 33 % from the average salary of the same 730 lv, what gives 240 lv, what is nearly twice less than the minimal salary. And if he has worked 25 years, then he (and surely also she) will have 27.5 % or 200 lv, what now is definitely less than half of the MMS. But if he has 20 years of service then his 22 % will give 160 lv, and exactly then comes in effect the minimal pension (and for this paragraph), which in March 2016 was 157 lv. In other words, the minimal pension is received with 20 years service, which in the totalitarian years sufficed for receiving of pension and must have given about 80 % from the /_personal_/ salary, but at least 60 %. This is now the second important "national peculiarity" -- lessening thrice of the minimal pensions in comparison with the bad totalitarian years. Do you begin to grasp a little or still do not? Well, if you don't, then I will add that the media cite somewhere that the minimal salary in ... Africa, and more precisely in the country Gabon turns to be 2.5 times higher than in the (democratic) Bulgaria. Hurray, gentlemen!
-->And let us now laugh (or, as I said, weep) over the situation of such people, like your author, who have barely scraped together 15 years of service for a half pension. Well, there everything falls down, there is another table, and because of this the threshold named minimal pension (and which correlated with the average one) is already (in March 2016) not 157 but 133 lv, what is now 18 % from the average salary (of 730 lv in this time), and what can be named super-minimal pension (SMP). If we put this SMP of 133 lv in proportion even to the MMS of 420 lv, then we will get 31 %. If you are interested how is it possible to live on 18 % of the average income (or just a bit below one third of the minimal one), then this is another matter, I have discussed it in various places, and specially for intellectuals (like me) this is not directly impossible, because they are used to live poor, this is difficult mainly for the common people, but let us not diverge with this here. Let me better explain to you my fundamental error by calculating of my IC, or the next trick of our specialists in social welfare. So it is said that one can choose only three consecutive years from his period of work, and applying the necessary document for the received during this time money, and dividing this money to the total income for this time, from tables, he will get his IC. Well, my IC, of Bulgarian intellectual, with tertiary education (rather with two such educations and a bit more than this), research assistant, turned to be in the chosen by me period 1.28 (and on the average about 1.2), what is quite decent.
-->Yet it is not so, naturally (in Bulgaria nothing is so like it has to be, I think you have already grasped this), because there were three years in the very end of the century when it was allowed to pay alone some payments for the pension fund, and when I have paid something for 2 years and 3 months, but I personally have not worked then and have not required to include them, still, our specialists think that they also have to take part in the calculation of IC. So, and now try to guess what turned my IC to be, ah? Ha, ha, ha, laugh gentlemen, this is terribly funny, because my common IC became 0.943, for the simple reason that during the time when I paid alone contributions it was ... /_0.5_/ (even with one percent less)! So it is, dirty intellectual, it is not enough that you have studied in university twice, but in addition have not at all worked for our national democracy, so that it serves you right!
-->Well, by such IC, and for 16 years service, it comes to about 18 % but from already diminished average salary, what gives 123 lv, yet because our Bulgarian democracy cares also for "dirty intellectuals", then I received the minimal pension (on this table) from 133 levs (less then 70 euro, and for a month, not a day). Though it grows a little, so that while I write this material it has become already 137 lv, and it is not excluded that till the end of the year it will become 140 levs. So-o, well, when it is so then your author, as person with mathematical education, decided that it is possible to require recalculation of the pension, not for 16.25 years of service, bur exactly for /_15_/ years (and nearly one month above this) adding only 1999th year from the self insurance, and then his, i.e. my, IC will become 1.082, what is more or less decent, yet because the length of service falls down a little then the total sum grows up to 131 lv, but is still less than 133, so that this recalculation is of purely theoretical interest. It is so, yes, but mark that for /_smaller_/ length of service in Bulgaria you can get bigger pension! And now, say that we are not a country of paradoxes, ah?
-->So, in short, the pensioning in Bulgaria, for those who have nearly died of working 40 years, gives minimal pension of 80 euro in month, what is 2.5 times less than in Gabon, and average pension (for those half-dead people) of 160 euro, but for those who have worked only 20 years, how it was required under the totalitarianism, the minimal pension is 67 euro, and the average (with the same length of service) is again 80 euro and again for a whole month. And in addition to this now all retire approximately /_10 years later_/ than it was under the bad totalitarianism. And the age of retirement grows incessantly and will grow until it reaches 67-68 years (even with 40 years service). And how one 67 years old grandpa or grandma will work 8 hours daily is their own business, right? The democracy gives them the right to accept or to refuse, so that how they want.
-->OK, we have laughed, or have cried, depending on the people, and now let us cast a glance at this how the individually accumulated sums in the pension fund are used. So in the moment the payments only for pension (without sick leave) amount up to 20 % from the working salary, roughly speaking, though there were periods when was necessary to pay 30 and more percents, and not from the minimal, but from twice increased one, what had to correspond to the average. Further the calculations are easy, and if you have also an average income, then for 40 years service, by 20 %, accumulates in the pension fund as much as you can use for 20 years by 40 %. Similarly 30 years by 20 % you can use for 20 years by 30, alike also 20 years by 20 gives the same 20 years by 20 %. So that if you receive pension for 20 years more everything is more or less justified, but the thing is that we have very low average life expectancy, it is on the average 75 years now, and if you retire on 65 (those with 40 years service retire on 64, and those with 15 on 66, what on the average gives 65), then you live twice less than it was supposed and half of your money remains in the fund or goes to the state. Well, then try to live longer, yes?
-->Exactly this is the main conclusion -- the important thing is not the amount of pension but how long you will receive it. So that if you work less then you have more chances to live longer, for you have spent yourself less, like your author. Further, if you alone pay your pension insurance, then you better pay /_no_/ installments at all, only try to gather somehow the minimal necessary number of years, because if you pay little, then your coefficient falls, and to pay much out of your own pocket is directly unethical and indecent. The pension, anyway, is /_not_/ for the wealthy, it is for the poor, and however small it was this is better than nothing. Even this super-minimal pension, which I decided to call "/_zor-zaman_/" pension (this is Turkish dialect that means "on the off-chance", yet it is not used as adjective, here your author improvises), is better that nothing, and if you have where to live, if you are healthy et cetera, then it is substantial help in your old age.
-->This what is murderous for the pensioners in Bulgaria is not the amount of pension, but the prices on communal expenses and on medicaments, this is what does not correspond with the pension. Because if the pensions by us have fallen 2-3 times in comparison with the totalitarian years, then the communal expenses, such like central heating, electricity, transport, and so on, have grown at least 10 times, also the medicaments at least 5-6 times, also the subsidized food products like bread and milk about three times, like also the entire medical care, which earlier costed nothing, yet it can't be said that was worth nothing. Even with minimal pension but healthy the remaining years can be lived better, than with average one, but with average expenses on doctors and medicaments, or also with maximal, but with maximal such expenses. Due to this it is better not to live to the pension age, because we are the most right-inclined than the wealthy countries, or when we must have the possibly left-oriented capitalism we have the possibly right-oriented, in Bulgaria, in the country of paradoxes. Yet when I have lived to this time, then I can do nothing, right? I will simply try, when I have put for 16 years money in the pension fund, to use my pension at least 16 years, what means to live till 83. Well, a bit much, but not that this is directly impossible. I will try. Not for myself, naturally, but for my readers. Ha, ha.
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-->Sep 2016
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