The Ascetic

The Ascetic


Alexandr Piatkov


       “7 But ask now the beasts, and they shall teach thee;
          and the fowls of the air, and they shall tell thee:

         8 Or speak to the earth, and it shall teach thee:
         and the fishes of the sea shall declare unto thee.”

                The Book of Job, Chapter 12.
    



Every day, a pack of dogs gathers by the porch of the meat pavilion at the

market. They stare intently at the door, waiting for a saleswoman or a butcher to

come out and throw them some scraps, or drive them away—depending on the mood.


    A similar community of cats sits on the porch of the fish pavilion, likewise

waiting for the bounty of saleswomen or cleaners.


    Yet, there is also a certain character at the marketplace who declares his

desire to live like a cat or a dog. For twenty years, he has been trading in all

sorts of trinkets, but his very method of existence is to find and consume, just

like a cat, a dog, or a bird.


    For instance, as he walks, he is constantly searching for something, looking

along the sides of the sidewalk or the road, where lost or abandoned things

usually lie. And he frequently finds money, packs of cigarettes, or half-empty

bottles. Although he does not drink himself, he takes the bottles anyway to give

them to someone or to trade them for something else.


    He also likes to chop firewood for the kebab vendor. This gives him a chance

to hang around the establishment, run to get cigarettes or something else at the

customers' request, and keep the change. Most importantly, all his actions are

accompanied by the exposition of his doctrine. Its essence lies in the

unreliability of money, expressed in three words: "The money will change!"  And

the second part is the excess of food: one should not eat, waste money on food,

or own a stove, a kitchen, pots, and the like.


    One simply needs to search, like a cat, a dog, or a bird, and that is quite

enough!  He also dresses in clothes gifted by others: a shoe vendor might

discover mismatched shoes, or someone might find defective trousers or a shirt,

and it is all given to our ascetic. In return, he rewards the giver with a

lengthy discourse on his theory of existence modeled after dogs, cats, and birds.


    But the most astonishing thing is that his prophecies have come true!  For

twenty years he predicted that the ruble would come to Crimea, that the money

would change, and that one should not hoard it, but spend it!  All the skeptics

are now put to shame, though the seer himself is no less surprised by the

fulfillment of his predictions than anyone else.


    He did not even manage to get a passport after the collapse of the Soviet

Union, because one of his landladies burned all his belongings, which he had

neglected to pick up from her for a long time. His documents burned as well. He

actually saw the bonfire, but at that moment a football match was underway at the

neighboring school stadium, and he did not want to be distracted by such a

triviality as a bonfire made of his personal effects. I think it was a thoroughly

feline indifference, or perhaps a canine fear of fire, or maybe a bird-like love

of freedom?


    Now he dwells in a tiny room of an old barrack. A long line of its previous

inhabitants, much like our hero, never found the time to bother with the legal

status of their housing. And indeed, why bother? All statuses have changed, and

everyone now sits like cats, dogs, or birds, staring at the door, waiting to see

if a kind master will step out.





PUBLICATION DETAILS / СВЕДЕНИЯ ОБ ОПУБЛИКОВАНИИ
Original Author / Автор: Alexandr Piatkov
Original Title / Оригинальное название: Аскет (The Ascetic)
Year of Original Publication / Год публикации оригинала: 2014
Original Publication Certificate / Свидетельство о публикации: №214072701889
Translated from Russian by / Перевод с русского: AI Assistant (Artificial Intelligence)