GUY by Rudolf Nureyev Without Make UP Australia
Rudolf Nureyev about Guy by Yuri Matthew Ryuntyu, Australia / http://proza.ru/diary/yuri2008/2008-04-18 / Þðè Ì Ðþíòþ 2006
GUY
Guy is a unique person and is always himself.
He’s far from young, that’s why he becomes more and more miserable.
What’s happy about it? It’s already eighty weeks since they’ve split.
His lover left London and came back to his parents.
Between them now is six hundred kilometers.
It’s exactly the same distance that divides cold London from the hot beaches of Spain.
Guy was left with a broken heart.
He himself accepted such a fatal decision.
There was no other way to act.
What can you do if your family life is apart from love?
“There were too many tales between us. What would I’ve done if I … was... Guy, when everything is against me. The boomerang of lies makes me unhappy. You never understood my love. No, you didn’t comprehend my love. I’ll perish without you...but I can’t live with you on a volcano. You’re hunger for lovers and girlfriends make me nauseating. I can’t sleep, eat or think straight. It’s ripping up my life, life a cruel hurricane. I can’t concentrate on anything. You’re chopping under my roots. Believe me it’s such an unbearable feeling. I’m sick of you and everyone around you. Do you understand me?”
That was their last conversation, as Guy slammed the door and remained alone. On that same day he was struck with a severe case of the flu. Then came a bout of angina that lasted for a few weeks. The sicknesses engulfed him when he became weak from nervous exhaustion.
The days followed each other, slowly repeating themselves behind that tainted glass window.. Guy started to come to his senses. Today he felt a little bit better, slightly recovering from the past. The most desired is that his dreams have returned to normal, which he hadn’t for a long time noticed.
“If I already sleep OK, then I’ve nearly recovered,” Guy encouraged himself.
When a stone rattled against the window he reluctantly went to the front door. He remembered that only one person doesn’t ring the bell. Guy knew whom to expect.
He was standing on the verandah. His dusty face said everything for itself. He rode his motorcycle for ten hours nonstop to reach Kew Gardens.
His lover waited for an answer. He pleaded Guy to be allowed to return. He swore to start everything afresh.
Guy repeated everything again; “Lad, there’s no return. You know that you can’t sleep only with me. It’s your nature. You need from time to time casual sex. No, boy, no… Stay with yourself. I’m not your judge. Bye, lad! God save you from AIDS and grief...”
The boy sobbed and fell face down into a flowerbed, and Guy cried for ages in front of the closed door. He refused to let him in. The lad avoided talking to his friends in London. All these so … called bastard-ed friends participated in killing Guy’s love.
The motorcycle roared and brought him back. Without Guy’s love his paradise city was barren to him. He saw nothing as he left this place forever.
“Yes, the price of the game in exchange is very stiff ”... Guy said aloud.
No, he wasn’t tough that lad. Guy drowned in tears on the other side of the door. He loved that boy more than he knew.
Guy didn’t decide to die at fifty. You see sleeping around will soon lead to the grave. Guy wasn’t prepared to die with him on the same day. He knew that AIDS would inevitably wait for him. His sexual fever was a race over a short distance to the crematorium. The choice was made.
Guy loved his mother and his death... his death would kill the old frail woman immediately. His ex-lover never cared about Guy’s feelings about his close ones.
AIDS can only be stopped in such way. He wanted the most remarkable self-defense. Guy... overcome his sexual temptation, for his mother’s sake to live. Loneliness was a price, which he prepared to pay for self-sacrifice.
Ten weeks have passed by today. Everyday he came to God. He prayed for help, for him and for himself. He asked to send to him someone unique and who would be with him without changing and forever.
Guy was petrified of his prayers. It was theatrically comical. Don’t all other comedies, like the truth be mixed up within its sincerity. Even now he’s on his knees in the chapel.
“Oh, God! The wise and great powerful God, send me somebody, who will love me. Help me meet someone who won’t entwine love with whomever comes along. Push him for the sake of my love to somebody else whom I never met and whom I never guessed about my presence.
Please God. Please help the great sinner Guy. I’ll be faithful to him, that new friend...”
... And so... God... heard him. An unfamiliar miracle started... for him in his healing.
At midday Guy became acquainted with an Italian bloke from Bare. Of course it was in the park and as usual through the gap in the toilet wall. A quick flirt was engaged in filthy loop. Where else can you find a worse place than here? Why do we have to announce a verdict? I agree that a miracle isn’t a miracle if you don’t choose a special place. Everyone knows that the bingo win in itself becomes magical. It’s absolutely unbelievable. The lottery win is often like catching a falling star.
“I’m endlessly in love and not interested in how you look when your pants are down. Before me, I see your fiery eyes and moist lips. Oh, Luciano, Lucy! Guy gasped in delight, without knowing any boundaries. A chill seized his body.
Strange how did that happen? It’s so simple. It all began very weirdly and unusually quiet. Perhaps it’s this that's the true answer... God’s wonder …for Guy.
For a second their gazes crossed. Isn’t it fate? Common fate. They didn’t even smile, it happened so fast. Their voices didn’t have time to answer in half a whisper, when their fates collided together. They hugged each other as their bodies fused in languor from sexual bliss. They faced what they never guessed. They call it instinctually mutual trust. They both haven’t sensed such miracles before. They felt self-adorability.
Guy’s hands became magnetized towards Loci. Here it’s unrecognizable that they are one body. Each of them accepted that they are the unique soul-matched couple. Who avoided each other until this minute?
They suddenly became a single being, of which couldn’t be known.
Their breathing was interrupted every second. Their hearts … hauled … then began to beat again and again.
Both of them melted into each other. Their souls joined into a single nirvana of harmony and communal melting. This toilet encounter changed their essence of life, where they lived like strangers in the night.
They both discovered their identical twin; both found themselves in the other.
“Guy, it’s an unbelievable feeling. DO you understand, mate?”
“Yes, Luciano, it’s just divine.”
“I love everything about you, Guy! You’re so cute, and that’s the most beautiful part of you. Such a wonder takes my breath away. Oh, how I love you my new Adonis,” Luciano rattled as he kissed his chest, ears, eyes... again and again.
“It’s impossible, Lucy! We know each other not even for a whole two minutes. How can it all be forever? I’m afraid to fall in love so soon. Give me time... a couple of weeks, days... hours... Yes, you’re right. I love you. Why do I need a calendar or watch? I don’t need anything,” Guy smashed his watch on the toilet floor.
“No, no it’s awful. It’s a stupid mistake. I’m petrified that you’ll ruin me, like I broke my watch. I remember how it happened to me by... Stephen. No, I mustn’t. I’m afraid to domesticate myself again. Where did my new love come from? My God, what’s wrong with me again?
“Stephen, save me from new misfortune. Stephen where are you? It’s better to experience lust from me, then to start love and everything from scratch and end with Loci.
The intuition about inevitable grief and destruction kills me. I see the same scenario, the dust that blows off him, his tears in the garden and Guy’s behind the door.
His new lover lay unmoved. There … was … no signs of fear. Their bodies warmed one another as their tongues flickered across eyebrows, lids and pale lips. The sense of trust was complete.
Mutual defenselessness openly glowed in four pupils. They forgot about everything... about mothers, fathers, children, careers, property and ... debts. Their real life bloomed, like a long awaited oasis in the deadly deserts of loneliness. They were innocent before each other in … their … wasted past. Their flesh is similar to morning roses under light dew, with a fragrance of fresh virgins. Each prepared to give ...their own ...touch. It resembles the glamour of tenderness and the same excuse for futile precautions, which we always attach to drops of dew on petals of magical flowers.
Lust has nothing to do with such encounter. Their new find of chastity is unlike the dull frilling rainbow from a petrified diamond. Their internal illumination resembles two mirrors facing each other on a sunny day, where there were ... no facial … reflections. Their multifaceted souls glowed in the milky glass and at the edge of space between their bodies hung two fascinating rainbows. What about these twin kaleidoscopes? Do they reflect their meaning of life for each other? The answer is to love someone the same as you love yourself, now neither more nor less. There was no place in their hearts for lies, compromises, demands and calculations. Guy knew that pretending is a poison to love. Guy and Luciano loved each other like a sparrow loves flying freely in the sky. They’re impossible to catch them in flight. They can’t be called to or beckoned back. What’s happened has happened with no return.
Two men fell in love with each other, like only two men could. It’s nearly impossible to explain in words, it’s only distinct in their languid eyes. Without any mistakes their love and satiated adoration can be read in their pupils.
Guy learnt to love again. He missed Stephen’s reciprocal affection for so long. He needed new mutual love, but this time from Luciano. He’s willing to give up his life for his hypnotizing smile.
Guy begged Lucy to promise not to pretend. Never, please... never play with ...him in love and ...faith. It sounded more like a prayer from the soul about one and the same.
Unforgettable grief and suffering droned behind shut eyelids. “And what if Luciano’s desires and mine aren’t identical and he’s not a copy of me...Tell me right now to my face and not to friends and girlfriends behind my back.”
Guy pleaded again and again pouring with tears as he begged. Pain from the previous ties to find loves haven’t left his tortured heart in peace. His wounds haven’t yet healed after Stephen.
“Tell me right now one on one. Tell me, and don’t wait for questions. Tell me everything that you feel... Talk to me,” Guy demanded.
Lucy remained silent in reply. He knew that falling in love is fatal and irreversible. What happened? His words didn’t flow easily or quietly. Passion has made him mute. Lips clamped down on his tongue, which wanted to kiss him to death.
That’s what happened to Guy and Luciano today.
What else can I add when I’ve said everything that’s needed.
Both are … wounded by former lovers.
When “love” died, Luciano acted the same as Guy. He was left alone with his grief. He no longer could play in love with himself. Masturbation was tragic and intolerable. In lonely exile he suddenly from habit lingered around the toilets looking for lucky bonks. Inside him often boiled disgust towards what went on behind the toilet door. Alcoholic lips and plagued false teeth made him nauseous. He couldn’t help himself. His body burnt with animalistic desires.
He’s Romeo’s vengeful traitor. Night adventures were the next remedy for seductive sexual rage. Luciano began to lose himself forever. It resembles the lessons of anatomy of common predators. The aching soul found no place to rest. A head migraine was related to lust. They didn’t leave; instead they accumulated their strength. This ragged body annihilated the boyish soul.
Between body and spirit there couldn’t be any agreement, especially when they endlessly continued to fight for the sake of owning... the adulterer… Romeo.
Then suddenly there was the encounter with Guy, who gave everything he searched for subconsciously... His mutilated soul found tranquility. It transformed his body with his lust and then gave birth to a new love. Guy meant everything to him. Luciano at last found himself. He believed their unbelievable luck today in the toilets.
Luciano explained by chance how he wanted to live. He felt the same reflective feelings as Guy himself. They discovered what jolted their wits, but neither of them guessed about their cruel justice in relation to their forgotten lovers, where their own tragedies were extinguished. All of their past was pushed aside. “God… is our … judge!” Is whispered by their lips.
Now, when everything became clear, they both cried instinctively. Unexpected love burst into their aching hearts, without asking or warning about new anxiety. One miracle doesn’t occur alone. One miracle is drawn to another. They surprisingly opened the age-old recipe against boredom of the past. It was tragic and comical. They noticed how previous love dies in both of them as it is replaced for the first time in themselves... new fashioned, caring love.
It’s similar to the rotating age long times of the year. Seasons have nothing to do with death or with life. We see the changing of fates. It reminds me of the working hands of a mechanical clock. Everything must move together and never stop separately. Perhaps the secret of eternity has revealed its nature.
“Yes, we’re right,” they decided, but without saying anything aloud. The men still didn’t trust themselves completely. They both kept superstition in the back of their minds, where the past sufferings of adultery continue to hide of Romeo and Stephen.
“Nothing can be done to the heart which is like a sea sponge that’s absorbed and fossilized sorrow which caused it to perish. One thing is good, that our happiness is serious and permanent. Isn’t that so, Lucy?” Guy kissed him.
“Yes, yes of course, Guy,” kissing in return.
Yes, God still loved and believed in them.
I need to say, that they both have the same monotonous life, isn’t it wonderful, someone noticed. Everyday … one and ...the … same one Sex in the morning, then ...housework and again sex in the evening.
Isn’t that what’s needed? They have no new partners every evening. Their friendship isn’t a game. Their mutual understanding is the meaning of their lives. A monotony style of life is beauty in itself. Yes, and everything is unchanged till today, twelve years later, as God... Krishna blessed them.
I’m jealous of you, my best friends Guy and Lucy.
I see how your faces radiate delight and love to each other.
It’s a priceless miracle to be in love with a permanent partner.
I watch you with a wide-eyed sideways glance for jealousy.
Oh, boys, my dear kind boys. I wish you both happiness and health.
Oh, how long have I been hopelessly wishing for this way of life.
How I crave for such unrealizable love... for myself.
Oh, why doesn’t Harry Krishna love me as much?
Why in the hell don’t I have enough routine in my sex life in my lonely bed...
in my villa in Turby, or palace in Kew Gardens,
or when I’m freezing in my flat in New York,
or on the banks of the Voltaire.
Now I’m looking over Central Park.
Its greenery cleans the city slightly from the smog and smoke.
The sun climbs over the horizon.
Look at the skyscrapers!
They already begin to lick with their endless walls of mirrors at the re-occurring sunrise.
Why are they so unmoved to the beauty of the morning light.
2009: ÑÅÐÈß ÈÇ 10 ÊÍÈÃ Þðè Ìýòòüþ Ðþíòþ
Publication Announcement-2009 Australia RU
Charitable Organization “The World Patrick White Intellectual Heritage: Australia” starting publication of the 10-Books of Australian Writer Yuri Ryuntyu in this year of his the 60-th jubilee: 1949-2009 in English, Russian and French:
Book 1
2009 ROCK IDOL & SUPERSTAR: Freddie Mercury and Rudolf Nureyev
ISBN 978-0-9806446-0-9 ART DOCUMENTARY: 1938-1993
Book 2
2009 RUDY NUREYEV: WITHOUT MAKE-UP
ISBN 978-0-9806446-1-6 SHORT STORY
Book 3
2009 ROUDI NOUREEV: Sans Maquillage
ISBN 978-0-9806446-2-3 SHORT STORY
Book 4
ISBN 978-0-9806446-3-0 BALLET DOCUMENTARY: 1910-1997
2009 ÎÄÍÎÒÎÌÍÈÊ ÂÅËÈÊÈÅ ÍÅÌÛÅ: ÍÓÐÅÅÂ ÓËÀÍÎÂÀ ÄÓÄÈÍÑÊÀß ÝÑÀÌÁÀÅÂ ÏËÈÑÅÖÊÀß ÀÞÕÀÍÎÂ
Book 5
2009 ÑÓÏÅÐÇÂÅÇÄÀ & ÐÎÊ-ÈÄÎË : ÍÓÐÅÅÂ È ÌÅÐÊÞÐÈ
ISBN 978-0-9806446-4-7 ART DOCUMENTARY: 1938-1993
Book 6
ISBN 978-0-9806446-5-4 THEATRE DOCUMENTARY: 1917-1997
2009 ÎÄÍÎÒÎÌÍÈÊ ÐÅÊÂÈÅÌ ÄËß ÔÀÐÈÑÅß: ÞÐÈÉ ËÞÁÈÌÎÂ
Book 7
ISBN 978-0-9806446-6-1 SCIENCE FICTION
2009 ÎÄÍÎÒÎÌÍÈÊ ÏÀÐÀËËÅËÜÍÛÅ ÌÈÐÛ: ÀÍÄÐÅÉ ÒÀÐÊÎÂÑÊÈÉ
Book 8
ISBN 978-0-9806446-7-8 SHORT STORY
2009 ÎÄÍÎÒÎÌÍÈÊ ÑÊÀÇÊÈ ÑÒÀÐÎÃÎ ×ÅËÎÂÅÊÀ
Book 9
ISBN 978-0-9806446-8-5 THEATRE DOCUMENTARY: 1936-1996
2009 ÎÄÍÎÒÎÌÍÈÊ ÐÅÖÅÏÒ ÄËß ÃÅÍÈß: ÐÎÌÀÍ ÂÈÊÒÞÊ
Book 10
2009 ÐÓÄÈ ÍÓÐÅÅÂ: ÁÅÇ ÌÀÊÈßÆÀ
ISBN 978-0-9806446-9-2 SHORT STORY
ÑÅÐÈß ÈÇ 35 ÊÍÈÃ Þðè Ìýòòüþ Ðþíòþ: Youri Mathieu Runtu: Yuri Matthew RYUNTYU - ÏÐÎÔÈÍÀÍÑÈÐÎÂÀÍA ÑÓÏÅÐÇÂÅÇÄÀÌÈ ÌÈÐÎÂÎÉ ÈÍÒÅËËÅÊÒÓÀËÜÍÎÉ ÝËÈÒÛ È ÌÓËÜÒÈÌÈËËÈÎÍÅÐÀÌÈ ÍÓÐÅÅÂÛÌ http://rudolfnureyev.com.au/ È ÔÐÝÄÄÈ ÌÅÐÊÜÞÐÈ http://mercuryfreddie.com.au/, ÓÎÐÕÎËÎÌ http://warholandy.com.au/ È ÓÀÉÒÎÌ http://patrickwhite.com.au/ ÄËß ÁÅÇÂÎÇÌÅÇÄÍÎÃÎ ÐÀÑÏÐÎÑÒÐÀÍÅÍÈß Â 200 ÑÒÐÀÍÀÕ ÑÎÄÐÓÆÅÑÒÂÀ ÎÎÍ c 1998-2008.
Ïèñàòåëü Þðè Ìýòüþ Ðþíòþ:
ÐÓÑÑÊÎE ÇÀÐÓÁÅÆÜE: ÀÂÑÒÐÀËÈß
Àâñòðàëèàía Ëèòåðàòóðà Póññêîãî 3àðóáåæüÿ
Yuri Matthew Ryuntyu was born in KIZHI, ONEGA LAKE, Russia. Following his studies at the Academy of Science, Yuri Matthew RYUNTYU moved to Sydney (Australia) and worked, most notably, as a medico-biology scientist. A prizewinning scholar and academician, he has published a 45 books of literary and cultural criticism, including <The Recipe for the Genius>, <The Requiem for the Foresee>, <The Grate Surrenders>, <Abreast and Profile of The Imperial Russian Ballet> and <The Apostolic Silver Age of Russian Culture>. He has also written for such publication as the World of News, the Book Review, the Theatre Life, the Pravda, the Moscow Evening, the Moscow Pravda, the Megapolis Express and the Evening Club about Poetry, Literature, Movies, Religion, History, Music, Opera, Ballet, Politics and Australian Arts, where he is a contributing editor. His literary works and articles are available in English, French, Russian, German, Japanese and Kazakh for readers. Ryuntyu was able to dedicate himself entirely to literature following the success of <Rudolf Nureyev: without Make-up> in Russia, a gloomy satire on sexuality published in 1995. Ryuntyu’s ironic and often disillusioned perception of the state of affairs in Russia during and after the Communist occupation produced a body of work that is still at the forefront of twentieth-century Russian and Australian literature. A most famous: <The Temptation: Boris Yeltsin>, <On the Way of the Cross: Alexander Solzhenitsyn>, <Idol Russian Gay Culture: Sergey Paradzhanov> and <The Meditation: Bella Akhmadulina and Joseph Brodsky> http://ryuntyu.com/8o/ Yuri Ryuntyu live in Cairns, Great Barrier Reef, Australia + Ðþíòþ o Êóëüòóðe Ðîññèÿí â ÑØÀ The Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and Museum USA http://www.reaganlibrary.com/
+ http://ryuntyu.com/BIBLIOGRAPHY.htm + http://ryuntyu.com/DIPLOMA.htm
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